1 00:00:03,485 --> 00:00:07,443 ( hip-hop music playing ) 2 00:00:07,443 --> 00:00:10,068 ♪ Hits from the bong ♪ 3 00:00:12,902 --> 00:00:15,068 ♪ Hits from the bong ♪ 4 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,568 ♪ Hits from the bong ♪ 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,902 ♪ Hits from the bong ♪ 6 00:00:24,902 --> 00:00:26,902 ♪ Pick it, pack it, fire it up 7 00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:30,360 ♪ Come along and take a hit from the bong ♪ 8 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,485 ♪ Put the blunt down just for a second ♪ 9 00:00:32,485 --> 00:00:35,026 ♪ Don't get me wrong it's not a new method ♪ 10 00:00:35,026 --> 00:00:38,276 ♪ Inhale, exhale ♪ 11 00:00:38,276 --> 00:00:40,652 ♪ Just got an ounce in the mail ♪ 12 00:00:40,652 --> 00:00:43,068 ♪ I like a blunt or a big fat cone ♪ 13 00:00:43,068 --> 00:00:45,485 ♪ But my double-barreled bong is getting me stoned ♪ 14 00:00:45,485 --> 00:00:48,110 ♪ I'm skillin', there's water inside don't spill it ♪ 15 00:00:49,485 --> 00:00:51,652 ♪ Hits from the bong ♪ 16 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,944 ♪ Gonna get high ♪ 17 00:00:54,944 --> 00:00:58,443 - ♪ Hits from the bong ♪ - ♪ Gonna get high ♪ 18 00:00:58,443 --> 00:01:00,735 ♪ Let's smoke that bowl hit the bong ♪ 19 00:01:00,735 --> 00:01:03,777 ♪ And then take that finger off of that hole ♪ 20 00:01:03,777 --> 00:01:06,735 ♪ Plug it, unplug it don't strain. ♪ 21 00:01:06,735 --> 00:01:09,485 ( loud knocking ) 22 00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:11,652 What the fuck is your problem? 23 00:01:11,652 --> 00:01:14,777 No disrespect, Silas. My bumbaclot Johnson no working, see? 24 00:01:14,777 --> 00:01:17,318 - What? - My rassclot true gashman. 25 00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:19,151 My dick won't stay thick, see? 26 00:01:19,151 --> 00:01:22,151 I think I got something for that. Hold on. 27 00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:25,193 Girl, 28 00:01:25,193 --> 00:01:27,151 wake your ass up. 29 00:01:27,151 --> 00:01:29,151 Damn well you ain't sleeping. 30 00:01:31,985 --> 00:01:33,568 "Crabs," 31 00:01:33,568 --> 00:01:35,527 "bad breath," 32 00:01:35,527 --> 00:01:37,485 "limp dick." Ha! 33 00:01:38,318 --> 00:01:39,652 Got that dough? 34 00:01:41,944 --> 00:01:44,652 Will this make my drill sergeant stand at attention? 35 00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:46,902 No, but it'll make you forget your drill sergeant 36 00:01:46,902 --> 00:01:49,318 don't stand at attention. Get at me in the morning. 37 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:53,276 - Peace! - Yo, Silas, my brother! 38 00:01:53,276 --> 00:01:55,694 Oh, shit, Mikey, hell no! 39 00:01:55,694 --> 00:01:57,652 Hey, come on, Silas, 40 00:01:57,652 --> 00:02:00,402 I need something to help me out. 41 00:02:00,402 --> 00:02:03,694 Yeah, rehab, mouthwash, and a job application. 42 00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:04,860 Jeez. 43 00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:08,235 I'm starting to recognize things. 44 00:02:08,235 --> 00:02:10,777 That's 'cause you coming down off a three month crack binge. 45 00:02:10,777 --> 00:02:13,026 It's called reality, son. Later, man. 46 00:02:13,026 --> 00:02:16,402 Wait, wait, Silas! You got anything for a head wound? 47 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,694 Man, ain't nothing wrong with your head. 48 00:02:18,694 --> 00:02:21,360 ( loud crash ) 49 00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:25,026 There is now. 50 00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:27,110 ( groans ) 51 00:02:27,110 --> 00:02:28,694 Fucking crackhead. 52 00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:31,652 Now what? 53 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:34,026 - Oh, shit, Ive. - What's up, dog? 54 00:02:34,026 --> 00:02:35,068 ( laughs ) 55 00:02:37,402 --> 00:02:40,193 - What's up, nigger? - What's cracking? 56 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,819 Ain't shit, you know. 57 00:02:42,819 --> 00:02:45,610 You get my message about going to the Jets game? 58 00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:47,068 Yo, I wish I could, dog. 59 00:02:47,068 --> 00:02:49,402 But I got this shorty coming through tonight. 60 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,235 Met her on the internet. Chickenheads.com. 61 00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:53,068 This girl is banging. 62 00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:55,568 Yo, we even exchanged pictures and everything. 63 00:02:55,568 --> 00:02:58,610 - Damn, this look like your last girlfriend. - Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,735 And did your picture have that nasty 65 00:03:00,735 --> 00:03:03,527 Al B. Sure pubic patch in it, motherfucker? 66 00:03:03,527 --> 00:03:05,151 This just sprang up. 67 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,860 You know what I think it is? 68 00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,568 It's the mark of Buddha. 69 00:03:08,568 --> 00:03:10,944 And your haircut game is fucked up. 70 00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:13,443 Girlfriend see that, she going to shit on you. 71 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,443 This girl is different. All she cares about is Kevin Costner movies. 72 00:03:16,443 --> 00:03:19,276 I'm going to let Kev do the foreplay, right? 73 00:03:19,276 --> 00:03:22,777 I figured I'd get something from the Garden of Weeden to make it interesting. 74 00:03:22,777 --> 00:03:24,735 - Costner, huh? - Uh-huh. 75 00:03:24,735 --> 00:03:27,276 - "Dances With Wolves." - "Field Of Dreams." 76 00:03:27,276 --> 00:03:29,527 That's a corny motherfucker. 77 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,902 You going to need some strong shit just to stay awake. 78 00:03:31,902 --> 00:03:33,944 - Come on. - You're feeling me. 79 00:03:33,944 --> 00:03:36,360 That's a four-hour- movie-making motherfucker. 80 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,276 Ooh, what is this? 81 00:03:38,276 --> 00:03:40,819 - Huh? - Ooh whee! 82 00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:44,443 - You shouldn't have. - I didn't. Get out of here. 83 00:03:44,443 --> 00:03:47,151 - Man, let me just grab a titty. - Hell, no. 84 00:03:47,151 --> 00:03:49,527 - She wouldn't even know it was me. - To hell with that. 85 00:03:49,527 --> 00:03:51,360 What you got for me? 86 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,777 Here you go. The bomb. 87 00:03:52,777 --> 00:03:54,735 - Oh, yeah. What's this? - Aaah! 88 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:58,151 Whoa! Stop touching stuff! 89 00:03:58,151 --> 00:04:01,610 - When are you getting some funds for this shit? - See that right there? 90 00:04:01,610 --> 00:04:03,985 That's a natural aphrodisiac. 91 00:04:03,985 --> 00:04:05,694 Come here, let me show you some more shit. 92 00:04:05,694 --> 00:04:07,402 Look right there? See that? 93 00:04:07,402 --> 00:04:09,360 That's a painkiller. Look under there, bro'. 94 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,026 You see that? Cure for blueballs. 95 00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:13,485 This ain't shit, all right? Watch yourself. 96 00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:17,276 Yeah, well, your shit is raggedier than a motherfucker. 97 00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:18,735 If you took your head out these hos 98 00:04:18,735 --> 00:04:20,527 and put 'em in some books, 99 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,985 you'd have that lab you always talked about. 100 00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:24,485 Half those books is filled with bullshit. 101 00:04:24,485 --> 00:04:27,110 The other half lies. See what I'm saying? 102 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:29,151 I got to give Pops his medicine, man. 103 00:04:29,151 --> 00:04:31,151 I'm hungrier than four dudes. 104 00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:33,985 Hey, I'm hungrier than five. 105 00:04:33,985 --> 00:04:36,485 Who is you and what you doing in my house? 106 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,068 I went for "Pork Chops O'Chunky." 107 00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:40,110 Whether you're black, or honky, or in-between, 108 00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:43,235 you'll love "Pork Chops O'Chunky." Man, that's mean. 109 00:04:43,235 --> 00:04:45,944 - So what's in this stuff? - Nothing but pork. 110 00:04:45,944 --> 00:04:48,193 Wow, right on, then! 111 00:04:48,193 --> 00:04:52,568 - There you go. - You're scared to answer your calling. 112 00:04:52,568 --> 00:04:54,652 Man, what calling? 113 00:04:54,652 --> 00:04:56,860 ♪ Pork Chops O'Chunky ♪ 114 00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,652 ♪ Tastes real good ♪ 115 00:04:58,652 --> 00:05:01,360 ♪ Won't make you never smell funky, yeah... ♪ 116 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,735 You got an opportunity to do something here... 117 00:05:03,735 --> 00:05:05,860 that the drug companies would never do. 118 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,985 Let's put the power of healing back into the hands of the common man. 119 00:05:08,985 --> 00:05:10,735 Whatever, man. What you need to do 120 00:05:10,735 --> 00:05:13,193 is concentrate on getting the power of booty 121 00:05:13,193 --> 00:05:16,360 into the hands of your common ass. That's what you need. 122 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,735 Don't worry about the Ive. I got mine coming tonight. 123 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:22,068 - WOMAN: Hey, Silas! - You see the ass on the red one? 124 00:05:22,068 --> 00:05:25,402 - Simple. - Just remember to take them THCs. 125 00:05:25,402 --> 00:05:27,402 At least try to get into college. 126 00:05:27,402 --> 00:05:29,568 Working in a real lab, making some real money. 127 00:05:30,443 --> 00:05:32,402 Okay, Ive, whatever, man. 128 00:05:32,402 --> 00:05:35,151 - If you say so, bro'. - The world is bigger than Staten Island. 129 00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:37,568 I'm out. 130 00:05:41,068 --> 00:05:43,568 - Holler at me. - I'll try to. 131 00:05:43,568 --> 00:05:45,360 - What's up, ladies? - Yo, Si, 132 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,068 if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I got your back. 133 00:05:48,068 --> 00:05:50,402 If anything happened to me, or I jumped out a window 134 00:05:50,402 --> 00:05:52,944 and my hair caught on fire, I got your back, dog. 135 00:05:52,944 --> 00:05:55,485 If my ex came after me with a knife and stabbed me, 136 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:58,360 - I got your back! - You talk too much, Ive. 137 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,318 - Peace! - Yo, Silas! 138 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,443 You'd better take those college exams! 139 00:06:03,777 --> 00:06:06,235 WOMAN: Look at Jamal, he's a good boy, huh? 140 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:09,610 Good boy, my ass. I had to cancel my nail appointment 141 00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:12,652 to pick him up at the precinct last week. 142 00:06:12,652 --> 00:06:14,985 - Momma, they lying. - They lying? 143 00:06:14,985 --> 00:06:17,944 - They found the weed on you, didn't they? - It wasn't mine. 144 00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:21,694 Then what is this that I found in your bedroom? 145 00:06:21,694 --> 00:06:24,402 Hello. Ma, it is a lamp. 146 00:06:24,402 --> 00:06:27,777 And this is where you turn it on at. Excuse me? 147 00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:29,568 Head. 148 00:06:35,068 --> 00:06:38,443 Now, where did I go wrong with your ass? 149 00:06:38,443 --> 00:06:40,568 You going to have to take that THC test 150 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,026 and get into a four-year college 151 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,985 or I'm just cut you off from this family. 152 00:06:43,985 --> 00:06:47,652 You are the first member of this family 153 00:06:47,652 --> 00:06:49,819 to go to college. 154 00:06:49,819 --> 00:06:52,151 But six years at a two-year community college 155 00:06:52,151 --> 00:06:53,985 is not what I had in mind. 156 00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:56,652 - BOTH: Tell the truth. - I got a dream that one day 157 00:06:56,652 --> 00:06:58,610 I can put your college diploma here 158 00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:00,902 under my Jesus, who's master of this house, 159 00:07:00,902 --> 00:07:04,568 next to your brother's prison-issue barber certificate 160 00:07:04,568 --> 00:07:07,026 and your sister's weave-master degree. 161 00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,985 Now don't disappoint me. 162 00:07:08,985 --> 00:07:11,819 You weed smoking, three-day-wearing nasty ass. 163 00:07:11,819 --> 00:07:13,860 Just like your father. 164 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:17,485 Why you always talking to me like that in front of company? 165 00:07:17,485 --> 00:07:19,652 These bitches ain't nobody. 166 00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:21,860 Now go warm me up some "Pork Chops O'Chunky." 167 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:25,193 - Is that all, Momma? - Wash your nasty ass! 168 00:07:25,193 --> 00:07:28,026 Is that all, Momma? 169 00:07:28,026 --> 00:07:30,527 ( knocking on door ) 170 00:07:31,443 --> 00:07:33,360 You the man. 171 00:07:34,527 --> 00:07:38,819 - What's up, baby? - Oh, hell no! 172 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,944 I didn't know you had dreads! And what is that? 173 00:07:42,944 --> 00:07:46,151 Brother just got extensions put in today. They tight, huh? 174 00:07:46,151 --> 00:07:48,777 Where? Between your eyes? 175 00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:51,819 - What the hell is that? - It's the mark of Buddha. 176 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:54,193 It's the skidmark of Buddha! 177 00:07:54,193 --> 00:07:56,860 Looks like he took a dump in the middle of your face! 178 00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:59,902 - I don't think this is gonna work out. - Hold on, now! 179 00:07:59,902 --> 00:08:03,568 Why are you doing this? I rented "Field Of Dreams" and "Dances With Wolves." 180 00:08:03,568 --> 00:08:06,610 Nigger, you are a wolf. 181 00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:09,527 Chocolate diva! Nubian goddess! 182 00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:13,819 I'm taking you off my buddy list, bitch! 183 00:08:13,819 --> 00:08:16,610 I hope you get a virus! You and your computer. 184 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,193 ( tires squealing ) 185 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:21,151 MAN: If you build it, they will come. 186 00:08:21,151 --> 00:08:23,068 MAN What you mean they'll come? 187 00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,068 Who's going to come to a fucking cornfield? 188 00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:27,402 Who's going to cut the grass? 189 00:08:27,402 --> 00:08:30,110 I know you don't expect me to sell no peanuts out there, bitch. 190 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,026 Shit remind me of slavery. "Roots" and shit, man. 191 00:08:33,026 --> 00:08:34,985 - ( laughing ) - I don't play this, man. 192 00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:38,151 - What was that? Annie! - Crazy ho! 193 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:41,694 Only way I'm coming is if you got some females and some chronic. 194 00:08:41,694 --> 00:08:44,151 And then we all going to be coming. 195 00:08:44,151 --> 00:08:46,735 - That voice, what was it? - We didn't hear anything! 196 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,694 She got some nice titties, dog. Word. 197 00:08:49,694 --> 00:08:51,985 CHILD: What titties? What? 198 00:08:51,985 --> 00:08:54,443 MAN Okay, you must've heard that! 199 00:08:54,443 --> 00:08:56,443 WOMAN: It's a good baseball field, Ray. 200 00:08:56,443 --> 00:08:58,777 RAY: It's kind of pretty. 201 00:08:58,777 --> 00:09:00,985 - I told you. - You did not. 202 00:09:00,985 --> 00:09:03,527 - I did. - No, you did not. 203 00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:06,443 ( hip-hop music playing ) 204 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,193 ( screaming ) 205 00:09:09,193 --> 00:09:11,443 Oh God! Oh! 206 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,110 SILAS: Mark of Buddha, my ass. 207 00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:24,443 Look at you now. Dead. Ashes. 208 00:09:24,443 --> 00:09:26,610 Damn, Ivory. 209 00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:28,360 After all these years of blazing, 210 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,318 who would've thought the last thing you'd wind up smoking 211 00:09:31,318 --> 00:09:34,735 would be your ass? I'm gonna miss you, dog. 212 00:09:34,735 --> 00:09:38,568 I'm going to be thinking about you while I'm taking them THCs. 213 00:09:38,568 --> 00:09:40,276 And if you're really my boy, 214 00:09:40,276 --> 00:09:43,110 you'll make sure I pass that motherfucker, you heard? 215 00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:45,527 Thanks, Pops. 216 00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:48,527 What's up with that joint? Can I get a little-- 217 00:09:48,527 --> 00:09:51,110 Never mind. Forget it. 218 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:53,318 Bald-ass motherfucker. 219 00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:55,485 Stingy bastard. 220 00:09:56,694 --> 00:09:58,610 Shit. 221 00:10:00,151 --> 00:10:03,193 "Early girl." 222 00:10:03,193 --> 00:10:07,985 Ooh, Ivory. My how you've grown. 223 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,735 ( sniffs ) Wow. 224 00:10:12,735 --> 00:10:15,318 Damn, Ivory! 225 00:10:15,318 --> 00:10:18,360 I had no idea you could stink so good, nigger! 226 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,360 Jeez. 227 00:10:24,735 --> 00:10:28,318 MAN: Hey, man, get that car fixed! 228 00:10:28,318 --> 00:10:31,860 Blunt o'clock, boy. 229 00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,652 ( engine knocking ) 230 00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:43,485 Man, get the fuck out of here. 231 00:10:43,485 --> 00:10:46,318 Look at this little ass bag of fucking weed. 232 00:10:46,318 --> 00:10:48,318 ( sniffs ) 233 00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:51,694 Yes, Lord. 234 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,402 Oooh. Damn! 235 00:10:57,568 --> 00:11:00,068 - ( flatulence ) - Oooh. 236 00:11:01,235 --> 00:11:03,568 Aw. 237 00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:07,610 - ( air blowing ) - Oh, oh! 238 00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:11,068 Oh! Oh, shit! My weed! 239 00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:15,819 No cigar? No! 240 00:11:15,819 --> 00:11:18,527 Fuck, fuck! Bitch! 241 00:11:18,527 --> 00:11:20,902 ( muffled cursing ) 242 00:11:27,026 --> 00:11:28,694 Got blunt? 243 00:11:30,151 --> 00:11:32,902 Got weed? 244 00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:35,985 That shit smell good as hell. I'm Jamal. 245 00:11:35,985 --> 00:11:37,151 Peace. Silas. 246 00:11:37,151 --> 00:11:38,860 So you trying to get something 247 00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:40,527 to bring them nerves down too, huh? 248 00:11:40,527 --> 00:11:43,235 I figured if I study high, take the tests high, 249 00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:46,735 - I'll get high scores, right? - Right. 250 00:11:46,735 --> 00:11:48,402 - Right. - Right. 251 00:11:50,568 --> 00:11:54,235 - Look at that car. - Is it on fire? 252 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:57,110 ( coughing ) Take that, son. 253 00:12:02,777 --> 00:12:04,443 ( gagging ) 254 00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:06,610 ( coughing ) 255 00:12:09,652 --> 00:12:11,944 Oh! 256 00:12:11,944 --> 00:12:14,318 Yo... 257 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,318 - This is the shit. - That shit is called the Ivory shit. 258 00:12:17,318 --> 00:12:19,735 - It's the shit. - That's the Ivory right there. 259 00:12:19,735 --> 00:12:22,819 - Goddamn. - Thanks. 260 00:12:22,819 --> 00:12:25,151 - Oops. - Yo, pass that, kid. 261 00:12:26,485 --> 00:12:28,902 I just gave it to the guy in the back, man. 262 00:12:28,902 --> 00:12:31,318 Guy in the back? Fuck is he--? 263 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,568 - What's up, dog? - That's Ivory. 264 00:12:33,568 --> 00:12:37,068 No, that's the Ivory. Damn. 265 00:12:37,068 --> 00:12:39,777 Ivory?! Oh, shit! You got to be kidding me! 266 00:12:39,777 --> 00:12:41,819 Yo, Silas! Chill out! Silas! 267 00:12:42,694 --> 00:12:44,527 Word. 268 00:12:44,527 --> 00:12:46,360 What the fuck is going on? 269 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,652 Ain't you supposed to be dead? 270 00:12:48,652 --> 00:12:51,276 I am dead. But this is what happens when you smoke your boy. 271 00:12:51,276 --> 00:12:53,735 Holy shit. Let me try that. 272 00:12:53,735 --> 00:12:56,318 IVORY: Relax. Can we talk about this in your car? 273 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,694 I know how you can get high scores. 274 00:13:04,276 --> 00:13:07,985 IVORY: I'm a ghost, ghost, ghost. 275 00:13:07,985 --> 00:13:11,610 - Now, don't touch me. - It's me, dog. 276 00:13:11,610 --> 00:13:14,777 What are you doing? Running the streets, fucking with the living? 277 00:13:14,777 --> 00:13:16,944 No, bro'. I'm just here for you. 278 00:13:16,944 --> 00:13:19,652 People can only see me when they smoke me. 279 00:13:19,652 --> 00:13:23,068 I got all the answers. I can consult with people. 280 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,527 Socrates, Nietzsche, 281 00:13:24,527 --> 00:13:26,276 even the old dude who made this test. 282 00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:27,944 - That's bullshit. - I bullshit you not. 283 00:13:27,944 --> 00:13:29,735 Remember, I told you I have your back-- 284 00:13:29,735 --> 00:13:31,860 even if I got hit by a bus. 285 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,777 Matter of fact, your ass didn't even get hit by a bus. 286 00:13:33,777 --> 00:13:35,360 ( screaming ) 287 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,485 I made it! 288 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:44,068 I can't feel my legs, but I'm alive! 289 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:49,068 ( horn honking, screaming ) 290 00:13:51,652 --> 00:13:54,068 - And you predicted that shit. - Yeah. 291 00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:56,235 So what are you doing here? 292 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:58,735 Are you going to hook me up with a chick with a no-gag reflex? 293 00:13:58,735 --> 00:14:01,485 Even better. I'm going to be in there with you. 294 00:14:01,485 --> 00:14:04,860 By the time I'm done with you, every college in the country will be knocking. 295 00:14:07,985 --> 00:14:11,193 Ow, shit. Man, I must not be high enough. 296 00:14:11,193 --> 00:14:12,819 He a ghost, man. 297 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:15,193 Cool. That explains everything. 298 00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:19,193 I'm up here trying to put my fucking hand through-- 299 00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:23,068 We've never had anybody, let alone two people 300 00:14:23,068 --> 00:14:24,902 get a perfect score. 301 00:14:24,902 --> 00:14:27,443 We either have a one in six billion phenomenon, 302 00:14:27,443 --> 00:14:29,527 or a cheat. 303 00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:32,610 - Damn! - It would've been impossible for either of you to cheat. 304 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,443 You had two totally different versions of the test. 305 00:14:35,443 --> 00:14:37,694 Congratulations. These scores are going 306 00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:40,443 to get you into any college in the country. 307 00:14:40,443 --> 00:14:42,777 Yo, we still high on that Ivory? 308 00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:52,485 Cain, it's as simple as this. 309 00:14:52,485 --> 00:14:54,777 The trustees are riding my ass 310 00:14:54,777 --> 00:14:57,235 about getting some color up at Harvard. 311 00:14:57,235 --> 00:14:59,610 - Excuse me? - Ethnic diversity. 312 00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:01,777 The trustees seem to think we need it. 313 00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:04,568 - How come we don't have more minorities? - How should I know? 314 00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:07,485 If we don't do something soon, I might get fired. 315 00:15:07,485 --> 00:15:10,276 What about Upchuck Amalu? He's Eskimo. 316 00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:13,068 Why isn't he considered as a minority? And I brought him in. 317 00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:16,026 But it's breaking the bank keeping his igloo frozen. 318 00:15:16,026 --> 00:15:18,944 Dean, what about those two guys I read about from the Tri-states? 319 00:15:18,944 --> 00:15:21,902 They made perfect scores on their THCs. 320 00:15:21,902 --> 00:15:25,110 I saw those guys' pictures. They looked like mug shots! 321 00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:29,652 I don't care. I want them! 322 00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:31,819 At Reparations Technical Institute, 323 00:15:31,819 --> 00:15:34,360 we offer a cornucopia of educational 324 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,568 and business opportunities for brothers and sisters to pursue higher learning. 325 00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:40,110 - Read from the brochure. - "Brothers, join us 326 00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:41,985 and learn hatred for the white devil 327 00:15:41,985 --> 00:15:43,443 in a relaxed campus atmosphere, 328 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,360 - where classes range..." - From... 329 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,276 - "Hatred For The White Devil..." - to... 330 00:15:47,276 --> 00:15:49,568 - "Advanced Hatred For The White Devil..." - and... 331 00:15:49,568 --> 00:15:51,026 - "Volleyball." - BOTH: next. 332 00:15:51,026 --> 00:15:53,568 You think you're all hot tamales right now? 333 00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:55,819 Why don't you come to the base and understand 334 00:15:55,819 --> 00:15:57,652 what it's really like to be special? 335 00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,193 You work hard, you learn, 336 00:15:59,193 --> 00:16:01,860 and then you can build refrigerators and such. 337 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:02,944 Next! 338 00:16:02,944 --> 00:16:04,902 Taking a vow of celibacy... 339 00:16:04,902 --> 00:16:06,360 - Next. - ...frees your mind... 340 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,402 - Next. - ...and your body. 341 00:16:07,402 --> 00:16:08,610 Next! 342 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,610 Harvard?! 343 00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:12,860 Ain't it a lot of richy people up there? 344 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,819 Shit, I got to roll up that joint, dog. 345 00:16:15,819 --> 00:16:19,026 With test scores like these you can roll up any joint you want. 346 00:16:19,026 --> 00:16:21,360 But Harvard, gentlemen, is not just any joint. 347 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,694 - It's an institution. - All I want to do is develop my herbal 348 00:16:24,694 --> 00:16:27,985 in a real lab, and get some head while I'm doing it. 349 00:16:27,985 --> 00:16:30,402 ( chuckling ) 350 00:16:30,402 --> 00:16:32,694 We have the finest Botany department in the world 351 00:16:32,694 --> 00:16:35,318 and a quality of life like no other. 352 00:16:35,318 --> 00:16:38,902 Music, artists, and the women... mmm. 353 00:16:38,902 --> 00:16:42,568 So, does it sound tempting? Ivy league atmosphere? 354 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,610 A place where you can really grow academically? 355 00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:49,068 - Sure, I'll fucks with ya. - I'll fucks with you, too. 356 00:16:49,068 --> 00:16:51,318 - Is that good? - Yes, that's a yes. 357 00:16:51,318 --> 00:16:53,068 Then we'll fox with each other. 358 00:17:05,068 --> 00:17:07,694 - Damn. - Damn. 359 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:11,026 SILAS: Them hos look like they still in high school, yo. 360 00:17:11,026 --> 00:17:14,318 If there's grass on the infield, play ball. 361 00:17:14,318 --> 00:17:16,902 Where the fuck is orientation at, anyway? 362 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,443 BOTH: Da-amn. 363 00:17:20,443 --> 00:17:22,610 - Hey! - ( howls ) 364 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,276 - What the fuck was that? - Je-sus! 365 00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:31,443 If I could pull off six years out of community college, 366 00:17:31,443 --> 00:17:34,443 I know I could get a least 12 years up in this motherfucker. 367 00:17:34,443 --> 00:17:36,026 ( chuckles ) 368 00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:38,276 How much of that Ivory we got, anyway? 369 00:17:38,276 --> 00:17:41,068 We limited, all right? So we're going to have to split this shit up. 370 00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:44,193 You know what I'm saying? We only blaze at test times. 371 00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:47,443 - What, no wake and bake? - I got other stuff for that. 372 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:54,026 Bart, remember those artifacts I found this summer? 373 00:17:54,026 --> 00:17:56,652 I was right! They are Ben Franklin's! 374 00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:59,819 Great. Did you figure out where you want to eat dinner tonight? 375 00:17:59,819 --> 00:18:03,318 Dinner? Bart, some of these things are-- 376 00:18:03,318 --> 00:18:05,193 they look like earlier inventions. 377 00:18:05,193 --> 00:18:07,485 And if I can discover what these are, 378 00:18:07,485 --> 00:18:10,068 it could be the greatest find of anyone attending Harvard. 379 00:18:10,068 --> 00:18:13,694 I loves Ben Franklin, girl, and I could listen to you 380 00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:17,694 talk about his stinking ass all day long. 381 00:18:17,694 --> 00:18:21,944 - Excuse me? - Do anybody know where the financial aid office is? 382 00:18:21,944 --> 00:18:24,110 Well, my man, let me think. 383 00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:27,193 See that statue right there? It's beautiful, isn't it? 384 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,110 That statue is in the likeness of my great grandaddy Dooster. 385 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,777 So I'm guessing that would be the Dooster house. 386 00:18:32,777 --> 00:18:36,694 The financial aid office. Gee, I don't think 387 00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:39,527 I've ever met anyone who actually needed to go there. 388 00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:41,860 All we did was come over and ask for directions. 389 00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:44,860 If we came over here and asked if anybody needed their ass kicked, 390 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:47,026 you wouldn't sound so fucking smart, would you? 391 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,694 My bad, bro'. We got off on the wrong foot. Let's start over. 392 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,777 - I'm Bart. - I'm Jamal. 393 00:18:52,777 --> 00:18:55,819 My friend, this is crew, but don't even think about it. 394 00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:58,402 You don't look like you could hang, Jermaine. 395 00:18:58,402 --> 00:19:01,276 The name's Jamal, and I'll fuck your crew up. 396 00:19:01,276 --> 00:19:03,360 Who are they? Who are they, goddamn it? 397 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,860 It's rowing, Jimmy-Jam. 398 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,652 Well, Bart-Fart, you got skills in it? 399 00:19:07,652 --> 00:19:09,568 Yeah, I'm captain of the team. 400 00:19:09,568 --> 00:19:12,151 - If you can do it, I can do it, sucker. - That's right. 401 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,110 This isn't basketball, J-Rock. 402 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,193 I trained all year round for three seasons 403 00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:19,068 to make number one in single sculls. 404 00:19:19,068 --> 00:19:22,193 You about to be number two, 'cause I'm signing up, buddy. 405 00:19:22,193 --> 00:19:24,318 Practice starts tomorrow, 6:00 am. A'ight? 406 00:19:24,318 --> 00:19:29,068 Fine. I don't mind cutting my evening short to be there. 407 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,902 As Dean of Freshmen, 408 00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,610 I have welcomed students from all over the world. 409 00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:38,026 From Korea, from Rome, Istanbul. 410 00:19:38,026 --> 00:19:40,276 Students enter Harvard 411 00:19:40,276 --> 00:19:42,777 with a variety of goals. 412 00:19:42,777 --> 00:19:45,985 Excuse me? Are we in the right place? 413 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:49,193 - Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? - You? You? 414 00:19:49,193 --> 00:19:52,527 As I was saying, 415 00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:55,110 Harvard isn't for everyone. 416 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,110 Oh, shit. We got a black man for a teacher. 417 00:19:58,110 --> 00:20:00,360 That's what I'm talking 'bout! What's up, bro'? 418 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,443 - We straight. - Holler! 419 00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:06,777 - As I was saying... - What's wrong with his ass? 420 00:20:06,777 --> 00:20:08,985 He probably been locked up more times than me 421 00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:11,193 - and your ass put together. - Get him. 422 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:14,026 That old, green, Jimmy The Cricket suit-wearing ass motherfucker. 423 00:20:14,026 --> 00:20:17,527 - Get him! - Old, short, Colin Powell haircut-having motherfucker. 424 00:20:17,527 --> 00:20:21,485 - Get him! - Angela Davis moustache wearing-ass motherfucker. 425 00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:24,193 You little Richard Pryor shortcut fade 426 00:20:24,193 --> 00:20:27,276 happening 'round the sides wearing motherfucker! 427 00:20:27,276 --> 00:20:31,193 You little Sammy Davis Award Junior Afro haircut having-ass motherfucker! 428 00:20:31,193 --> 00:20:34,694 - Get him! - You little dynamite disco daddy devastating. 429 00:20:34,694 --> 00:20:37,819 - Get him! - You little Don Cornelius with a haircut-- 430 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:41,694 Gentlemen, if you don't mind, I'd like you to sit down. 431 00:20:41,694 --> 00:20:43,485 I would like to continue. 432 00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:47,860 - Excuse me. - 'Scuse me. 433 00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:49,527 JAMAL: Watch your toes. Watch the corns. 434 00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:52,151 - Excuse me. - ( flatulent sound ) 435 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:55,694 Thank you for your... entertaining anecdotes. 436 00:20:55,694 --> 00:21:00,318 We here at Harvard are rooted in tradition. 437 00:21:00,318 --> 00:21:02,652 Fuck is this? 438 00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:04,735 - That's toilet water. - ( spits ) 439 00:21:04,735 --> 00:21:07,485 It's a part of my pledge. Do you guys mind? 440 00:21:07,485 --> 00:21:09,985 No. But do you mind talking that way, 441 00:21:09,985 --> 00:21:12,276 'cause your breath smell like straight ass-crack, bro'. 442 00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:15,443 Isn't there a hip-hop convention you two should be at? 443 00:21:15,443 --> 00:21:16,985 - Ooooh. - Oooh. 444 00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:19,985 - Shark has fangs. - Word. Go easy on him. 445 00:21:19,985 --> 00:21:23,443 We probably the only blackheads he's seen since he looked in the mirror. 446 00:21:23,443 --> 00:21:25,860 Can you guys just show a little respect? Jeez. 447 00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:28,026 This class is fucking boring, I'm out of here. 448 00:21:28,026 --> 00:21:30,151 Excuse me, did I hear you say something? 449 00:21:30,151 --> 00:21:31,902 With all due respect, sir, suck my dick. 450 00:21:31,902 --> 00:21:33,527 ( all gasp ) 451 00:21:33,527 --> 00:21:36,860 No, sir, I'm not saying anything. 452 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:39,819 - It's these guys. - SILAS: You're an asshole. 453 00:21:39,819 --> 00:21:42,485 - Did you just call me an asshole? - No, I said idiot. 454 00:21:42,485 --> 00:21:45,276 - An idiot?! - No, sir! No, sir! 455 00:21:45,276 --> 00:21:48,026 - What did you say? - I said this school has nice halls. 456 00:21:48,026 --> 00:21:51,193 - This is not funny. - You couldn't teach your way out of kindergarten class. 457 00:21:51,193 --> 00:21:53,777 I think we've had enough interruptions for today. 458 00:21:53,777 --> 00:21:56,527 - I think you should leave. - Sir. 459 00:21:57,985 --> 00:22:00,402 This would never have happened if I were black. 460 00:22:04,652 --> 00:22:06,568 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 461 00:22:06,568 --> 00:22:08,527 Better pull back on those pedals, boy. 462 00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:11,735 - Why? - Maximum speed on campus is 15 MPHs. 463 00:22:11,735 --> 00:22:13,568 MPHs? 464 00:22:14,694 --> 00:22:17,402 50 bucks? Man, I can't pay this. 465 00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:20,026 - Well... - This isn't even a real ticket. 466 00:22:20,026 --> 00:22:22,318 It's a student citation. See, I'm a volunteer. 467 00:22:22,318 --> 00:22:24,860 You need to pay that by Friday at fi-- 468 00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:28,151 - That was uncalled for. - Eat me. 469 00:22:28,151 --> 00:22:31,735 - You just earned another citation. - Fuck off! 470 00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:36,944 - ( horn honking ) - Well, well, well. 471 00:22:36,944 --> 00:22:39,527 Look who we have here. 472 00:22:39,527 --> 00:22:41,443 Damn, this bike phat as hell. 473 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:44,026 Whoa, whoa, hey, don't touch. Okay, all right. 474 00:22:44,026 --> 00:22:46,318 Leave the bike alone. Did you just call me fat? 475 00:22:46,318 --> 00:22:48,318 And what is that stench? 476 00:22:48,318 --> 00:22:50,235 ( sniffing ) 477 00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:52,110 That's my cologne. Cannabi For Men. 478 00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:54,860 I don't know what that is. Forewarning, gentlemen. 479 00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:57,193 You better watch your mouths and your behinds. 480 00:22:57,193 --> 00:23:00,318 I'm looking for the Ecstasy. I'm looking for the pot. 481 00:23:00,318 --> 00:23:03,151 Oh, yeah. I'm looking for those 'shrooms. 482 00:23:03,151 --> 00:23:05,944 - We looking for that shit, too! - Hell yeah. 483 00:23:05,944 --> 00:23:09,026 - What are you talking about? - BOTH: Same thing you talking about. 484 00:23:09,026 --> 00:23:11,944 - What are we talking about? - Look, Gerald, 485 00:23:11,944 --> 00:23:15,276 either you're holding, or you can get on your roadster and move the fuck on. 486 00:23:15,276 --> 00:23:17,694 It's Volunteer Officer Picklestein. 487 00:23:17,694 --> 00:23:20,151 And I am watching you. Oh, I'm watching you. 488 00:23:20,151 --> 00:23:22,110 Like a hawk. 489 00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:25,193 Like a hawk! 490 00:23:25,193 --> 00:23:27,819 Somebody needs a hug. 491 00:23:30,902 --> 00:23:34,485 Don't worry, baby, you can suck my dick after class. 492 00:23:36,026 --> 00:23:38,068 Oh, wow! She wants me. 493 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:41,151 Welcome to Lovell House. You look funky fresh. 494 00:23:41,151 --> 00:23:45,151 And funky fresh always likes funky fresh women. 495 00:23:46,568 --> 00:23:50,527 "Amir, professional student, resident advisor for you." 496 00:23:50,527 --> 00:23:51,944 And professional player. 497 00:23:51,944 --> 00:23:54,485 So what's mine is yours, and what's yours... 498 00:23:54,485 --> 00:23:55,985 I've probably already had. 499 00:23:55,985 --> 00:23:59,360 You and you and me, we're the same. 500 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:00,819 Africa tan. 501 00:24:00,819 --> 00:24:03,360 The original man was like us, man. 502 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,151 Whatever, nigger. 503 00:24:05,151 --> 00:24:08,068 I believe in the Fly Club and its traditions and its ideals. 504 00:24:08,068 --> 00:24:10,276 I believe in the Fly-- Excuse me? 505 00:24:10,276 --> 00:24:12,610 Do you have to play that so loud? I'm studying my pledge book. 506 00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:15,068 This Niggaz With Attitude. 507 00:24:15,068 --> 00:24:18,360 If you smart, you tell people you love NWA. 508 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,360 They think you cool. 509 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,527 ( rap music playing ) 510 00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:25,068 Why do you wear smelly eggs? 511 00:24:25,068 --> 00:24:27,402 These eggs are part of my pledging. 512 00:24:27,402 --> 00:24:30,193 I am getting thousands of lifetime connections here. 513 00:24:30,193 --> 00:24:32,068 I'm going to be a part of a fraternity. 514 00:24:32,068 --> 00:24:33,402 - Hey! - Hey! 515 00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:34,860 Whassup, whassup? 516 00:24:34,860 --> 00:24:38,527 - Oh God. - One glove, my brothers! 517 00:24:39,568 --> 00:24:42,360 I am Tuan, child prodigy. 518 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,694 I'm Jamal, a pothead. 519 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:48,026 Silas, entre-po-negro. 520 00:24:48,026 --> 00:24:51,902 Jamal! Fresh gear, man! 521 00:24:51,902 --> 00:24:53,485 - You like? - Yeah! 522 00:24:53,485 --> 00:24:56,235 I designed it myself. I call it Bufu. 523 00:24:56,235 --> 00:24:58,902 - Bufu? - Oh, no, not you two. 524 00:24:58,902 --> 00:25:00,360 Please. 525 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:03,235 Fake-ass Paul Bunyan plaid, pussy shirt wearing-- 526 00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:05,902 Man, I'll fuck your ass up. Shut up. 527 00:25:05,902 --> 00:25:07,402 Okay, but if you two are our roommates, 528 00:25:07,402 --> 00:25:09,819 who's that? 529 00:25:09,819 --> 00:25:12,402 That's "I Need Money." Goddamn. 530 00:25:14,485 --> 00:25:16,735 Okay, but what's his name? 531 00:25:17,694 --> 00:25:21,068 I Need Money. 532 00:25:23,402 --> 00:25:24,777 Doesn't talk, how come he? 533 00:25:24,777 --> 00:25:27,318 I need money? He's a mute. 534 00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:29,944 When we first hooked up, he wrote on a slip of paper, 535 00:25:29,944 --> 00:25:31,694 "I need money." 536 00:25:31,694 --> 00:25:34,110 I said, "Shit, me too." 537 00:25:34,110 --> 00:25:36,610 And we started making it together after that. 538 00:25:36,610 --> 00:25:39,527 - Where he staying? - Harvard. 539 00:25:39,527 --> 00:25:42,944 Lovell House. Second floor, 540 00:25:42,944 --> 00:25:45,068 right on the couch. 541 00:25:45,068 --> 00:25:47,860 He's smoking in our room. That's not legal. 542 00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:51,443 Just be cool, and you might have some fun this semester. 543 00:25:51,443 --> 00:25:54,235 - Stupid. - Whoo-wee. 544 00:25:54,235 --> 00:25:57,610 NWA? Kid, what you know about that? 545 00:25:57,610 --> 00:26:00,443 Yeah, I love Niggaz With Attitude. 546 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,777 Nobody, I repeat nobody, 547 00:26:04,777 --> 00:26:06,819 drops the N-bomb up in here. 548 00:26:06,819 --> 00:26:08,902 - Nobody. - That go for you, too. 549 00:26:08,902 --> 00:26:12,068 Hey, I am down with you, man. 550 00:26:12,068 --> 00:26:15,610 You East coast. I Far East coast. 551 00:26:15,610 --> 00:26:17,819 I'm from Wisconsin. 552 00:26:17,819 --> 00:26:20,026 Yo, fresh and funky. 553 00:26:20,026 --> 00:26:22,193 Dean Cain wants to see you in his office. 554 00:26:22,193 --> 00:26:24,110 Don't be late. 555 00:26:25,777 --> 00:26:27,944 Gentlemen, this institution 556 00:26:27,944 --> 00:26:31,652 has graduated countless Fortune 500 CEOs. 557 00:26:31,652 --> 00:26:34,860 41 Nobel laureates, and six Presidents. 558 00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:37,318 Hey, Dean, where's all the fly-ass women 559 00:26:37,318 --> 00:26:39,485 the Chancellor was talking about? 560 00:26:39,485 --> 00:26:42,777 So far, I only seen some stuck-up, 561 00:26:42,777 --> 00:26:44,985 nerdy-ass looking women out. 562 00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:50,485 ( clock ticking ) 563 00:26:56,527 --> 00:26:59,652 You were dropping Cheetos 564 00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,985 on an original 18th century 565 00:27:01,985 --> 00:27:03,527 hand woven tapestry! 566 00:27:03,527 --> 00:27:05,735 You mean this carpet? 567 00:27:05,735 --> 00:27:08,527 This is out of my personal collection. 568 00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:11,110 I got this in my travels to Nepal! 569 00:27:11,110 --> 00:27:12,735 I know the bitch that makes these rugs. 570 00:27:12,735 --> 00:27:15,026 - You know Wynena-- - I remember that bitch. 571 00:27:15,026 --> 00:27:17,026 It means the world to me. 572 00:27:17,026 --> 00:27:19,360 Now, as I was saying, 573 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,735 here at Harvard, we have very high standards. 574 00:27:22,735 --> 00:27:25,193 Any student on a scholarship 575 00:27:25,193 --> 00:27:28,402 must maintain at least a 2.0 average 576 00:27:28,402 --> 00:27:29,985 or you will be expelled. 577 00:27:29,985 --> 00:27:32,527 It's good to know we have the support of the faculty. 578 00:27:32,527 --> 00:27:35,568 And don't you worry. Me and Jamal here? 579 00:27:35,568 --> 00:27:38,276 - We're all about good grades. - Is that right, Mr. King? 580 00:27:38,276 --> 00:27:42,568 Hell motherf-- I mean, yes, sir, Dean Cain, sir. 581 00:27:52,402 --> 00:27:55,819 ♪ Slam! Du-da-da, du-da-da ♪ 582 00:27:55,819 --> 00:27:57,276 ♪ Let the boyz be boyz ♪ 583 00:27:57,276 --> 00:28:00,360 ♪ Slam! Du-da-da, du-da-da ♪ 584 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,527 ♪ Let the boyz be boyz... ♪ 585 00:28:02,527 --> 00:28:05,610 - ( bubbling ) - How is carbon dioxide changed into oxygen? 586 00:28:05,610 --> 00:28:08,402 - SILAS: Plants, dick! - Guys! 587 00:28:10,485 --> 00:28:13,068 Jamal, Jamal, Jamal. 588 00:28:13,068 --> 00:28:15,360 Sleepyhead, wake up. 589 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,610 ( beeping ) 590 00:28:20,777 --> 00:28:23,110 I got something for your ass. 591 00:28:24,735 --> 00:28:26,527 ( loud dance music playing ) 592 00:28:26,527 --> 00:28:28,026 ♪ Du ♪ 593 00:28:28,026 --> 00:28:29,652 ♪ Du hast ♪ 594 00:28:29,652 --> 00:28:32,068 ♪ Du hast mich... ♪ 595 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,402 ( music continues loudly ) 596 00:28:49,402 --> 00:28:51,151 ♪ Du ♪ 597 00:28:51,151 --> 00:28:53,235 ♪ Du hast ♪ 598 00:28:53,235 --> 00:28:55,485 ♪ Du hast mich ♪ 599 00:28:55,485 --> 00:28:57,235 ♪ Du hast mich ♪ 600 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,652 ♪ Du hast mich gefragt ♪ 601 00:28:59,652 --> 00:29:01,568 ♪ Du hast mich gesagt ♪ 602 00:29:01,568 --> 00:29:05,443 ♪ Wilst du bis der tod euch scheidet ♪ 603 00:29:05,443 --> 00:29:08,944 ♪ Treu ihr sein fur alle tage. ♪ 604 00:29:10,276 --> 00:29:13,985 Come on, gentlemen! Pick it up if you want to be part of this squad! 605 00:29:16,026 --> 00:29:17,985 Taxi! 606 00:29:21,443 --> 00:29:24,110 Woo, what took you all guys so long? 607 00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:27,360 Coach, I've not lost an oar run in three years. 608 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,068 - I'm wondering if this guy cheated. - Cheated? 609 00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:31,485 Man, fuck you! 610 00:29:31,485 --> 00:29:34,276 Why is fucking Dick Butt-kiss always riding me? 611 00:29:34,276 --> 00:29:37,985 Dick Butt-kiss? Did you hear that, Coach? He's cursing! 612 00:29:37,985 --> 00:29:40,652 Bart, I think you better go open up the boathouse. 613 00:29:40,652 --> 00:29:42,110 - But Coach! - Bart! 614 00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,026 I don't think you want to see this. 615 00:29:45,026 --> 00:29:46,944 You... here. 616 00:29:46,944 --> 00:29:48,694 Come here. 617 00:29:48,694 --> 00:29:50,527 Come here. 618 00:29:52,735 --> 00:29:55,735 Nice comeback on the Dick Butt-kiss. 619 00:29:55,735 --> 00:29:57,860 I wish I could've said that. 620 00:29:57,860 --> 00:29:59,819 His parents have been driving me crazy, 621 00:29:59,819 --> 00:30:02,318 making my life a misery for years. 622 00:30:02,318 --> 00:30:05,026 But they give lots of money. I have to go to those lousy cocktail parties. 623 00:30:05,026 --> 00:30:07,735 She has lousy perfume and he has a lousy toupee. 624 00:30:07,735 --> 00:30:10,777 You keep throwing zingers to this jerk-off, 625 00:30:10,777 --> 00:30:12,860 and you're going to make the team, son. 626 00:30:14,527 --> 00:30:17,026 And let that be a lesson to you! This is the last time! 627 00:30:17,026 --> 00:30:19,527 All right, rookies! Push-ups! 628 00:30:19,527 --> 00:30:21,068 Get down! 629 00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:25,694 Yo, yo, yo. What's up with the fast stroll? 630 00:30:25,694 --> 00:30:28,318 - Can I holler? - ( chuckles ) Hi. 631 00:30:28,318 --> 00:30:32,110 MAN: The role played by the African-Americans 632 00:30:32,110 --> 00:30:33,735 in the history of this country 633 00:30:33,735 --> 00:30:36,360 has been largely unnoticed. 634 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,735 Of course, history is 635 00:30:37,735 --> 00:30:40,068 the record of an account of the past. 636 00:30:40,068 --> 00:30:43,610 But the issue here is, who is recording the account? 637 00:30:43,610 --> 00:30:47,402 If it's Snowflake, Whitey, Paleface, 638 00:30:47,402 --> 00:30:49,068 Peckerwoods, Cracker-- 639 00:30:49,068 --> 00:30:52,151 we got Cleopatra looking like Elizabeth Taylor. 640 00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:54,735 Jesus looks like a hippie in a dashiki. 641 00:30:54,735 --> 00:30:56,902 But if it's one of my proud black people 642 00:30:56,902 --> 00:30:58,652 that's doing the recording of the account-- 643 00:30:58,652 --> 00:30:59,819 Yo, Silas! 644 00:30:59,819 --> 00:31:02,527 We might have Moses looking like 645 00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:05,110 this fine black man right here. 646 00:31:05,110 --> 00:31:08,819 - ( professor continues ) - I'm sore as a motherfucker. 647 00:31:08,819 --> 00:31:11,068 Who invented the air conditioner? 648 00:31:11,068 --> 00:31:12,568 A black man. 649 00:31:12,568 --> 00:31:13,944 What's up, dogs? 650 00:31:13,944 --> 00:31:17,235 Yo, son, I'm sore as a bitch in heat. 651 00:31:17,235 --> 00:31:19,694 And you know what else? I'm going to have 652 00:31:19,694 --> 00:31:21,735 to knock that Bart character the fuck out. 653 00:31:21,735 --> 00:31:24,151 Once again, a black man. 654 00:31:24,151 --> 00:31:26,318 Can't this wait till after class? 655 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:29,402 You supposed to be in here, anyway. This is black history. 656 00:31:29,402 --> 00:31:32,610 Black history? It look like all the black students 657 00:31:32,610 --> 00:31:34,610 that was in here are history. 658 00:31:34,610 --> 00:31:37,276 - Shh! - Are you telling me to "shh"? 659 00:31:37,276 --> 00:31:39,318 See what I mean? Fuck history. 660 00:31:39,318 --> 00:31:42,568 - That's right. Fuck history. - Yeah, fuck history. 661 00:31:42,568 --> 00:31:45,068 Mr. Moses, I expect you'll be ready for your quiz tomorrow? 662 00:31:45,068 --> 00:31:48,360 Quiz my ass. A white man teaching black history, anyway. 663 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:52,902 That's some bullshit. I'm going to lunch and take a nice long shit. 664 00:31:52,902 --> 00:31:55,235 That's the kind of attitude I like to hear. 665 00:31:55,235 --> 00:31:57,860 And where are you going? 666 00:31:57,860 --> 00:32:01,652 We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us. 667 00:32:01,652 --> 00:32:04,735 Ooh, all right! Malcolm X! 668 00:32:04,735 --> 00:32:06,735 I'm glad someone's appreciating the knowledge 669 00:32:06,735 --> 00:32:08,902 I'm trying to drop on you today. 670 00:32:08,902 --> 00:32:10,902 Why don't you two walk out in protest with your brothers? 671 00:32:10,902 --> 00:32:13,318 Walk out on me. What are you doing sitting there? 672 00:32:13,318 --> 00:32:16,735 You look like Whitey, like a couple of goddamn Uncle Toms. 673 00:32:16,735 --> 00:32:18,652 Walk on out! That's right! 674 00:32:18,652 --> 00:32:20,652 Get up and move! You should lynch me! 675 00:32:20,652 --> 00:32:23,151 Lynch me for what my people have done to your people. 676 00:32:23,151 --> 00:32:26,360 ♪ Stand up for your rights! ♪ Move on up! Move on up! 677 00:32:37,610 --> 00:32:39,193 ( quietly ) Come on. 678 00:32:39,193 --> 00:32:41,151 Go, go, go, go. 679 00:32:42,568 --> 00:32:44,527 Hey, what's up? 680 00:32:45,402 --> 00:32:47,610 Ahh, stop! 681 00:32:47,610 --> 00:32:50,110 ♪ Bicycle, bicycle... ♪ 682 00:32:50,110 --> 00:32:54,402 - What's going on here? - They stole my baby! 683 00:32:54,402 --> 00:32:58,527 Stop! Bring my baby back! 684 00:32:58,527 --> 00:33:00,068 Not the hill, not the hill! 685 00:33:00,068 --> 00:33:03,443 Oh, God, no! Baby, I almost got you! 686 00:33:03,443 --> 00:33:05,860 ♪ ...bicycle, bicycle ♪ 687 00:33:05,860 --> 00:33:09,902 ♪ Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle... ♪ 688 00:33:09,902 --> 00:33:12,110 Oh no! Oh my God! 689 00:33:12,110 --> 00:33:14,735 My wheel! Oh, oh! 690 00:33:14,735 --> 00:33:17,068 - ( honks ) - Oh, my horn! 691 00:33:17,068 --> 00:33:18,568 ( Gerald whimpering ) 692 00:33:18,568 --> 00:33:21,860 Hey, you! Where's Elm and Third? 693 00:33:21,860 --> 00:33:23,068 What? 694 00:33:31,402 --> 00:33:33,068 That's not yours! 695 00:33:34,568 --> 00:33:38,568 No, don't put him in-- oh, my baby! 696 00:33:43,276 --> 00:33:46,068 Can anyone tell me the name of this plant? 697 00:33:46,068 --> 00:33:48,026 Bart? 698 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,443 Yeah, it's a hanging rubber plant. 699 00:33:50,443 --> 00:33:54,068 It's indigenous to the wet drylands of the northern hemisphere. 700 00:33:54,068 --> 00:33:56,777 Yeah right, Bart. Would you bet money on that? 701 00:33:56,777 --> 00:33:59,402 Or is that like below the Dooster principle? 702 00:33:59,402 --> 00:34:01,568 Yeah, I'll bet on it. How 'bout an SUV? 703 00:34:01,568 --> 00:34:02,944 I got three of 'em. 704 00:34:02,944 --> 00:34:06,276 And the survey says, ehhh, you lose. 705 00:34:06,276 --> 00:34:08,443 It's a neem plant, Professor. 706 00:34:08,443 --> 00:34:10,068 Oui. Yes. 707 00:34:10,068 --> 00:34:12,276 But how did you know that, Silas? 708 00:34:12,276 --> 00:34:14,777 I had this nasty-ass rash once. 709 00:34:14,777 --> 00:34:16,777 I put a little bit of neem plant on it, 710 00:34:16,777 --> 00:34:18,443 it cleared it up in an hour. I even smoked it before. 711 00:34:18,443 --> 00:34:20,819 That figures. 712 00:34:20,819 --> 00:34:22,610 One thing it doesn't cure, though-- 713 00:34:22,610 --> 00:34:24,402 being a spoiled little bitch. 714 00:34:24,402 --> 00:34:27,944 PROFESSOR: I'd like you all to do an experiment on a plant. 715 00:34:27,944 --> 00:34:31,360 Something that... may benefit mankind. 716 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,235 And if you devise something groundbreaking, 717 00:34:34,235 --> 00:34:37,944 I guarantee you an "A" in this course. 718 00:34:37,944 --> 00:34:40,527 Okay, class dismissed. Good work, everyone. 719 00:34:40,527 --> 00:34:42,694 - Thank you. - Nice. Keep up the good work. 720 00:34:42,694 --> 00:34:45,652 WOMAN: So, he likes plants, does he? 721 00:34:45,652 --> 00:34:47,527 I see still waters run deep. 722 00:34:47,527 --> 00:34:51,485 Please believe. But wait till you see my presentation. 723 00:34:51,485 --> 00:34:52,902 You going to love me after that. 724 00:34:52,902 --> 00:34:55,652 Lauren, you might as well tell him now 725 00:34:55,652 --> 00:34:57,318 and get it over with. 726 00:34:57,318 --> 00:34:59,151 - What? - You know, 727 00:34:59,151 --> 00:35:01,860 how you're starting to see Bart for the shallow bastard he is, 728 00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:04,318 and eventually you're going to leave his ass for me. 729 00:35:04,318 --> 00:35:06,819 Holler. 730 00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:15,026 PROFESSOR: This semester in women's studies, 731 00:35:15,026 --> 00:35:18,110 we will discuss how women are objectified in popular culture 732 00:35:18,110 --> 00:35:19,860 while the masculine bastards 733 00:35:19,860 --> 00:35:22,568 exploit women's ideas for great profit, 734 00:35:22,568 --> 00:35:24,360 then take all the credit. 735 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,360 Jamal? 736 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,819 You have the most amazing... 737 00:35:29,819 --> 00:35:32,276 penis. 738 00:35:32,276 --> 00:35:34,026 Yes, I do. 739 00:35:35,610 --> 00:35:39,402 ♪ And I'm gonna kiss you, suck you, taste you ♪ 740 00:35:39,402 --> 00:35:43,610 ♪ Ride you, feel you deep inside me, ooh... ♪ 741 00:35:43,610 --> 00:35:45,777 - Hell yeah. - Aaah. 742 00:35:45,777 --> 00:35:48,235 So you're playing grabby-ass again, huh? 743 00:35:48,235 --> 00:35:51,652 - Ma? - Did you wash your ass today? 744 00:35:51,652 --> 00:35:54,402 Ah! Ah! Damn, Ma! Stop, Ma! Stop! 745 00:36:00,568 --> 00:36:03,902 - SILAS: You high yet? - JAMAL: I don't know. Maybe not high enough. 746 00:36:03,902 --> 00:36:06,402 - Where the hell is he? - ( coughs ) 747 00:36:07,193 --> 00:36:09,402 Maybe I ain't hit it hard enough. 748 00:36:09,402 --> 00:36:12,068 What are you doing? Dropping your kids off at the pool? 749 00:36:14,026 --> 00:36:15,944 Oh, shit. 750 00:36:15,944 --> 00:36:18,402 ( chuckling ) What's up, J? Give me five. 751 00:36:18,402 --> 00:36:20,068 I hate it when you do that. 752 00:36:20,068 --> 00:36:21,735 I love doing that. That shit is funny. 753 00:36:21,735 --> 00:36:23,443 What took you so long? 754 00:36:23,443 --> 00:36:26,235 Biggie and Pac, man. They throwing a party. 755 00:36:26,235 --> 00:36:27,944 Open bar all night! 756 00:36:27,944 --> 00:36:32,318 Everything was cool till Marvin Gaye came in there tripping. 757 00:36:32,318 --> 00:36:34,652 - Marvin Gaye? - Yeah. 758 00:36:34,652 --> 00:36:38,026 - We got a test in about five minutes. - Word. 759 00:36:38,026 --> 00:36:40,276 What that got to do with me? I know you ready. 760 00:36:40,276 --> 00:36:42,985 - I know you studied for it. - Ready? We ain't studied-- 761 00:36:42,985 --> 00:36:46,443 - Come on. - You got a golden opportunity to make something of yourself. 762 00:36:46,443 --> 00:36:49,527 And you just throwing it away? It's time for you to learn a lesson. 763 00:36:49,527 --> 00:36:51,652 - Come on, Ive. - I'm out, man. 764 00:36:51,652 --> 00:36:53,777 Ive! Don't play! Ive! 765 00:36:53,777 --> 00:36:57,235 - Talk to your boy. - Why'd you tell him we ain't studied? 766 00:36:57,235 --> 00:36:59,944 - Damn all that! - You should've thought of that before you-- 767 00:36:59,944 --> 00:37:04,235 Whassup?! I'm just fucking with you, man. 768 00:37:04,235 --> 00:37:06,860 - This is bullshit. - This is some good shit, man. 769 00:37:06,860 --> 00:37:08,985 You know you my boy. 770 00:37:08,985 --> 00:37:11,944 "C," Silas. Come on, man. The Portugese. 771 00:37:11,944 --> 00:37:14,652 1863. That's "B." 772 00:37:14,652 --> 00:37:17,026 J, what are you doing? 1961. 773 00:37:17,026 --> 00:37:19,819 - "B?" - Trust me on this, I got all the answers. 774 00:37:19,819 --> 00:37:21,819 You just told me that goddamn answer. 775 00:37:21,819 --> 00:37:24,110 "A." French. That be the French. 776 00:37:24,110 --> 00:37:27,652 ( women moaning on television ) 777 00:37:36,485 --> 00:37:40,485 Goddamn virgins. At least you all being entertained. 778 00:37:40,485 --> 00:37:43,860 I ain't seen a stitch of pussy on this whole campus. 779 00:37:43,860 --> 00:37:47,985 The chickens are not clucking around here. 780 00:37:50,068 --> 00:37:51,860 You've come to the right place. 781 00:37:51,860 --> 00:37:54,193 I've been an undergrad for 12 years. 782 00:37:54,193 --> 00:37:57,819 I know everything there is to know about Ivy League women. 783 00:37:57,819 --> 00:37:59,360 SILAS: 12 years? 784 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,276 Damn, kid. Your people paying for all this shit? 785 00:38:02,276 --> 00:38:04,151 A drop in the bucket, sucka. 786 00:38:04,151 --> 00:38:06,735 I remain here solely for the purpose 787 00:38:06,735 --> 00:38:09,527 of hooking up with Harvard women. 788 00:38:09,527 --> 00:38:12,026 Short ones, tall ones, 789 00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:13,944 skinny ones, chunky ones. 790 00:38:13,944 --> 00:38:16,485 I love me a fat chick, man. 791 00:38:16,485 --> 00:38:19,110 More cushion for the pushin'. 792 00:38:19,110 --> 00:38:23,193 Yes. I want to boldly go where no man has gone before. 793 00:38:23,193 --> 00:38:24,860 I'm an explorer. 794 00:38:24,860 --> 00:38:28,985 I see you are very much liking to explore STDs also, my friend. 795 00:38:28,985 --> 00:38:32,235 That shit on your lip got some shit on its lip. 796 00:38:32,235 --> 00:38:34,276 Is that why no puff-puff? 797 00:38:34,276 --> 00:38:35,985 Pass the dutchie, my friends. 798 00:38:35,985 --> 00:38:38,443 This is nothing. I cut myself shaving. 799 00:38:38,443 --> 00:38:39,777 Yeah, whatever. 800 00:38:39,777 --> 00:38:42,235 We need to start importing some hos. 801 00:38:42,235 --> 00:38:45,360 WOMAN: Molly, get in here, you have to see this! 802 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,777 MOLLY: Oh my, look at those muscles. 803 00:38:49,777 --> 00:38:52,568 - He is quite attractive. - Indeed. 804 00:38:52,568 --> 00:38:55,068 I think there's some freak in those geeks. 805 00:38:57,110 --> 00:38:58,819 - Yeah. - Here you go. 806 00:38:58,819 --> 00:39:02,402 Ooh. Don't get the wrong idea. 807 00:39:02,402 --> 00:39:05,568 We've never done anything like this before. We're virgins. 808 00:39:05,568 --> 00:39:07,110 - Virgins? - Mm-hmm. 809 00:39:07,110 --> 00:39:09,902 - No, you're not. - Yes, we are. 810 00:39:09,902 --> 00:39:11,193 - Nah, nah. - Yes. 811 00:39:11,193 --> 00:39:14,652 JAMAL AND SILAS: No, no, no. 812 00:39:14,652 --> 00:39:16,485 BOTH GIRLS: Yes, yes, yes. 813 00:39:16,485 --> 00:39:18,276 JAMAL AND SILAS: No, no, no. 814 00:39:18,276 --> 00:39:20,527 BOTH GIRLS: Yes, yes, yes! 815 00:39:22,568 --> 00:39:25,110 ( grunting, moaning ) 816 00:39:27,944 --> 00:39:30,151 ♪ Why do good girls like bad guys? ♪ 817 00:39:30,151 --> 00:39:32,527 Bro', you got change for a $20? 818 00:39:32,527 --> 00:39:34,860 ♪ Hey, yo, boo, why do good girls like bad guys ♪ 819 00:39:34,860 --> 00:39:37,235 ♪ Knowing that bad guys tell mad lies? ♪ 820 00:39:37,235 --> 00:39:39,402 ♪ And why do dog niggers want a honey with class? ♪ 821 00:39:39,402 --> 00:39:41,652 ♪ Sometimes you want more than just a honey with ass ♪ 822 00:39:41,652 --> 00:39:45,443 ♪ Hey yo, who would ever think that the two would go good? ♪ 823 00:39:45,443 --> 00:39:49,276 - Histo-ray! - Got a "A plus," my nigger. 824 00:39:49,276 --> 00:39:53,110 Oooh, ooh. Who is that? 825 00:39:54,026 --> 00:39:56,068 JAMAL: That is all me, G. 826 00:39:56,068 --> 00:39:58,110 That's the Vice President's daughter. 827 00:39:58,110 --> 00:40:00,443 As in Vice President of the United States. 828 00:40:00,443 --> 00:40:02,360 What? Jamal, you don't want that. 829 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:03,985 Them girls only know three words-- 830 00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:05,735 stop, no, and don't. 831 00:40:05,735 --> 00:40:08,068 Uh-uh, my brother. You got those words backwords. 832 00:40:08,068 --> 00:40:10,902 They always tell me, "No, don't stop." 833 00:40:10,902 --> 00:40:14,819 - Excuse me. - Player, player. 834 00:40:14,819 --> 00:40:19,151 Whoo-whee, I'm taking this ass up right here. Shit. 835 00:40:19,151 --> 00:40:21,485 ♪ She's got this long black hair ♪ 836 00:40:21,485 --> 00:40:24,318 - Damn! - ♪ It's a hanging on down her back ♪ 837 00:40:24,318 --> 00:40:26,443 ♪ Long black pretty legs ♪ 838 00:40:26,443 --> 00:40:29,485 ♪ And she walks just like a cat ♪ 839 00:40:29,485 --> 00:40:33,402 ♪ Hypnotic eyes and a stacked up love sack ♪ 840 00:40:33,402 --> 00:40:35,443 ♪ She not only wants your love ♪ 841 00:40:35,443 --> 00:40:38,360 ♪ She wants your life after that, don't do it ♪ 842 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,360 ♪ Don't give your love to sexy Ida ♪ 843 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:45,443 ♪ 'Cause she's the sister of a black widow spider. ♪ 844 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,985 Sorry, sir, Jaime isn't accepting any male callers at this time. 845 00:40:48,985 --> 00:40:51,360 I ain't calling. I'm right here. 846 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,110 Cedric, step aside. 847 00:40:54,110 --> 00:40:57,026 Whoo-whee! ( barks ) 848 00:40:58,318 --> 00:41:00,527 - What's your name? - I'm Jamal. 849 00:41:00,527 --> 00:41:02,360 You ever been arrested, Jamal? 850 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,151 Uh... no. 851 00:41:04,151 --> 00:41:06,527 Ever busted up your mother's house, 852 00:41:06,527 --> 00:41:09,318 - then slapped her when she asked you about it? - Hell no. You crazy? 853 00:41:09,318 --> 00:41:11,652 You ain't my type. 854 00:41:11,652 --> 00:41:13,402 Wait a minute, wait, wait! 855 00:41:13,402 --> 00:41:14,819 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 856 00:41:14,819 --> 00:41:18,235 I once got arrested for stealing a car one time. 857 00:41:18,235 --> 00:41:20,402 But my mother dropped the charges. 858 00:41:20,402 --> 00:41:24,694 It's not a felony, but maybe we can work with that. 859 00:41:24,694 --> 00:41:26,026 ( panting ) 860 00:41:32,402 --> 00:41:34,735 - Yo. - ( gasps ) 861 00:41:34,735 --> 00:41:36,235 Shit, I didn't mean to scare you. 862 00:41:36,235 --> 00:41:37,985 - I'm-- - Can I come in? 863 00:41:37,985 --> 00:41:39,777 Sure, come on in. 864 00:41:39,777 --> 00:41:43,777 Let me... move my things. 865 00:41:43,777 --> 00:41:46,026 There you go. You can sit there. 866 00:41:46,026 --> 00:41:49,068 Thank you. How very thoughtful. 867 00:41:50,902 --> 00:41:53,235 You'll have to pardon my dust. 868 00:41:53,235 --> 00:41:56,944 I've got a lot of artifacts and delicate things down here. 869 00:41:56,944 --> 00:41:59,402 What's this shit? 870 00:41:59,402 --> 00:42:01,568 - Looks old. - It is old. 871 00:42:01,568 --> 00:42:03,485 It's over 200 years old. 872 00:42:03,485 --> 00:42:06,110 I, um, sort of discovered it. 873 00:42:06,110 --> 00:42:08,485 You discovered all this crazy shit. 874 00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:10,443 You're a straight up genius, girl. 875 00:42:12,902 --> 00:42:14,944 Well, I don't know about all that. 876 00:42:14,944 --> 00:42:17,318 Um... I do know it's Ben Franklin's. 877 00:42:17,318 --> 00:42:18,860 I just don't know what it is. 878 00:42:18,860 --> 00:42:20,860 But I was thinking that it could be 879 00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:23,610 like this old revolutionary cannon. 880 00:42:23,610 --> 00:42:25,819 Or a telescope. Or um... 881 00:42:25,819 --> 00:42:29,110 Whatever it is, this shit is hot. 882 00:42:29,110 --> 00:42:30,694 Let me ask you something. 883 00:42:30,694 --> 00:42:32,568 Yeah. 884 00:42:32,568 --> 00:42:35,235 How'd you hook up with that Bart dude? 885 00:42:35,235 --> 00:42:37,819 I've known Bart all my life. 886 00:42:37,819 --> 00:42:40,443 And if it weren't for his family, 887 00:42:40,443 --> 00:42:42,151 I probably wouldn't be here. 888 00:42:42,151 --> 00:42:44,944 Well, isn't that sweet. 889 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,443 ( chattering ) 890 00:42:52,318 --> 00:42:54,402 - Ah-ha! - ( gasps ) 891 00:42:54,402 --> 00:42:56,485 Bart, honey. Sweetie. 892 00:42:56,485 --> 00:42:57,944 You are just in time 893 00:42:57,944 --> 00:43:00,652 because I've just finished studying. 894 00:43:00,652 --> 00:43:02,652 - Studying? - Yeah. 895 00:43:02,652 --> 00:43:04,652 I didn't know the two of you were studying in here... 896 00:43:04,652 --> 00:43:06,318 alone... 897 00:43:06,318 --> 00:43:07,944 with the lights dim... 898 00:43:07,944 --> 00:43:10,276 drinking beer?! 899 00:43:10,276 --> 00:43:12,944 Look Silas, I know what you're trying to do, okay? 900 00:43:12,944 --> 00:43:14,318 You're trying to frick her. 901 00:43:16,485 --> 00:43:18,860 Whatever, Bartkowski. Um, listen, 902 00:43:18,860 --> 00:43:22,443 I was just admiring your girl's thing. 903 00:43:23,819 --> 00:43:26,276 Well, I guess I should say thanks. 904 00:43:26,276 --> 00:43:27,819 This is a part of history, man. 905 00:43:27,819 --> 00:43:29,318 Your girl is doing something I think 906 00:43:29,318 --> 00:43:32,402 - you need to recognize. - Yeah. So? 907 00:43:32,402 --> 00:43:34,068 Listen, I'm out. 908 00:43:34,068 --> 00:43:37,193 Maybe next time I'll get to study with you. 909 00:43:37,193 --> 00:43:40,276 - Peace. - Peace is meant to explain a state of tranquility. 910 00:43:40,276 --> 00:43:42,777 Okay? So, why don't you try thinking of another way 911 00:43:42,777 --> 00:43:45,610 to say goodbye now that you're amongst civilized people. 912 00:43:45,610 --> 00:43:47,360 Well, Mr. Civilized, 913 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,944 peace can also be used interjectionally 914 00:43:49,944 --> 00:43:53,026 as a request, greeting, or farewell. 915 00:43:53,026 --> 00:43:55,819 So, try to find another way to be an asshole 916 00:43:55,819 --> 00:43:58,193 if you don't know your grammar, that is. 917 00:43:58,193 --> 00:43:59,694 Peace. 918 00:44:02,193 --> 00:44:04,527 Okay, Bart! 919 00:44:04,527 --> 00:44:06,694 God, can I get my stuff? 920 00:44:07,735 --> 00:44:09,527 Sheesh. 921 00:44:10,527 --> 00:44:12,694 ( disguised voice ) Yes. 922 00:44:12,694 --> 00:44:15,068 It was near the medical library. 923 00:44:15,068 --> 00:44:17,068 I think they said it was one of those, 924 00:44:17,068 --> 00:44:20,735 tick-tocky, blow-upy, exploding thing-- thingy, 925 00:44:20,735 --> 00:44:22,276 pipebomb thing-- things. 926 00:44:22,276 --> 00:44:24,443 Yeah. Yeah. 927 00:44:24,443 --> 00:44:27,110 Thank you. You, too. 928 00:44:27,110 --> 00:44:29,068 All righty. Bye. 929 00:44:31,026 --> 00:44:33,402 ( police siren blaring ) 930 00:44:35,694 --> 00:44:38,568 Dooster principle, my ass. 931 00:44:39,318 --> 00:44:41,402 Mm-hmm. 932 00:44:44,485 --> 00:44:47,402 JAMAL: Man, my grandmother loved this shit in her garden. 933 00:44:52,902 --> 00:44:54,902 Lasso, boys. 934 00:44:58,151 --> 00:45:00,110 Yee-hah! 935 00:45:02,819 --> 00:45:04,944 Timber! 936 00:45:07,110 --> 00:45:08,860 That statue is priceless. 937 00:45:08,860 --> 00:45:10,610 It means everything to our family. 938 00:45:10,610 --> 00:45:12,777 Will you stop your damn sniveling, son? 939 00:45:12,777 --> 00:45:14,443 Buck up, Bart. 940 00:45:14,443 --> 00:45:16,110 Buck up! 941 00:45:16,110 --> 00:45:18,360 Yo, do you think they gonna find out 942 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:19,610 we stole the Dooster statue? 943 00:45:19,610 --> 00:45:21,402 SILAS: Hell, no. 944 00:45:21,402 --> 00:45:23,318 Oh, my God! I knew it. 945 00:45:23,318 --> 00:45:24,902 You guys stole the Dooster. 946 00:45:24,902 --> 00:45:26,276 They do what? 947 00:45:26,276 --> 00:45:27,819 Fellas, I think it's time 948 00:45:27,819 --> 00:45:29,276 we all sat down and kicked it. 949 00:45:29,276 --> 00:45:30,777 No, no. I'm not kicking anything. 950 00:45:30,777 --> 00:45:32,402 I have a pledge meeting to go to, 951 00:45:32,402 --> 00:45:34,276 and I still haven't greased myself up. 952 00:45:34,276 --> 00:45:36,443 God, I just don't get you guys. 953 00:45:36,443 --> 00:45:38,068 There's a lot of things in life 954 00:45:38,068 --> 00:45:39,985 your ass just don't get. 955 00:45:39,985 --> 00:45:42,819 Yeah, like pussy and respect. 956 00:45:44,276 --> 00:45:46,151 I heard that. 957 00:45:50,193 --> 00:45:52,151 See, the system is geared 958 00:45:52,151 --> 00:45:55,402 to put most of the wealth into the hands of a few. 959 00:45:55,402 --> 00:45:57,985 The rich weapons, poor schoolin'. 960 00:45:57,985 --> 00:46:00,026 Yeah, for sure, nigger. 961 00:46:00,026 --> 00:46:02,610 - Yeah, for sure. - Y'all don't know shit. 962 00:46:02,610 --> 00:46:04,026 I'm a' learned you, though. 963 00:46:04,026 --> 00:46:05,443 I'm a' learned ya. 964 00:46:07,026 --> 00:46:09,610 Dwarves, midgets, 965 00:46:09,610 --> 00:46:11,235 motherfuckin' unicorns-- 966 00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:13,026 them motherfuckers don't want to see 967 00:46:13,026 --> 00:46:14,443 a black man make it. 968 00:46:14,443 --> 00:46:16,235 - Yeah. - You know what I mean? 969 00:46:16,235 --> 00:46:18,235 - For sure. - You know? 970 00:46:18,235 --> 00:46:20,485 And I'll tell you something else. 971 00:46:30,402 --> 00:46:32,360 For sure. 972 00:46:39,527 --> 00:46:41,110 Word up, young MC. 973 00:46:41,110 --> 00:46:43,026 You're just in time to help cheer us to victory. 974 00:46:43,026 --> 00:46:44,485 Young MC. 975 00:46:44,485 --> 00:46:47,193 Bart, you know, I think you keep getting funnier every day. 976 00:46:47,193 --> 00:46:49,235 You ain't gonna be laughing in a minute. 977 00:46:49,235 --> 00:46:50,610 Jamal. 978 00:46:50,610 --> 00:46:53,026 Bart, I've decided since you and Jamal 979 00:46:53,026 --> 00:46:54,568 are my two best athletes, 980 00:46:54,568 --> 00:46:57,068 I want you up against Yale. 981 00:46:57,068 --> 00:46:59,026 You can't just change the line-up! 982 00:46:59,026 --> 00:47:01,026 - That's against the rules! - What rules? Who cares? 983 00:47:01,026 --> 00:47:02,777 Do you guys care about the rules?! 984 00:47:02,777 --> 00:47:04,652 - No. - There you go. 985 00:47:04,652 --> 00:47:06,735 ( cheering ) 986 00:47:08,735 --> 00:47:10,068 ANNOUNCER: On your mark, 987 00:47:10,068 --> 00:47:12,068 get set... 988 00:47:12,068 --> 00:47:15,402 and they're off. It's a clean start. 989 00:47:17,068 --> 00:47:19,985 What are you doing, hip-hop hooray? Paddle! 990 00:47:19,985 --> 00:47:21,276 Paddle like a man! 991 00:47:21,276 --> 00:47:23,860 Shoot the J. Get jiggy with it. Something! 992 00:47:23,860 --> 00:47:26,944 ANNOUNCER: They're blowing Harvard's ass out of the water. 993 00:47:26,944 --> 00:47:30,360 Jamal, what's your ass doing rowing a boat? 994 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,151 You're supposed to be in class. 995 00:47:32,151 --> 00:47:33,652 Who the hell is that woman in the sky?! 996 00:47:33,652 --> 00:47:35,485 - I don't know. - What's the matter? 997 00:47:35,485 --> 00:47:38,276 You been smoking too much ganja, huh? 998 00:47:38,276 --> 00:47:39,819 BART: She's huge! 999 00:47:39,819 --> 00:47:41,735 I guess you might as well come back home 1000 00:47:41,735 --> 00:47:42,985 and live with me. 1001 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:44,110 Oh hell, no! 1002 00:47:44,110 --> 00:47:47,110 - Did you cuss at me? - Row, motherfucker! Row! 1003 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,694 Yes, Dean Cain. 1004 00:47:50,694 --> 00:47:52,443 Am I to believe this is correct? 1005 00:47:52,443 --> 00:47:55,402 Jamal and Silas have gotten all A's? 1006 00:48:02,110 --> 00:48:04,193 I'll call you back. 1007 00:48:04,193 --> 00:48:05,652 COACH: How you doing, Dean? 1008 00:48:05,652 --> 00:48:07,944 How you doing? How you been? 1009 00:48:09,193 --> 00:48:11,026 I see you checking out my gear, right? 1010 00:48:11,026 --> 00:48:13,110 - It's pretty tight, right? - No, actually, 1011 00:48:13,110 --> 00:48:14,902 - it's rather baggy. - No, no, man. 1012 00:48:14,902 --> 00:48:16,652 It's phat, it's dope, it's cool, it's bufu. 1013 00:48:16,652 --> 00:48:18,944 Bill, what has happened to you? 1014 00:48:18,944 --> 00:48:20,735 Sit down and take off those glasses. 1015 00:48:20,735 --> 00:48:21,902 All righty. 1016 00:48:23,735 --> 00:48:25,485 Tell me, how's Jamal doing? 1017 00:48:25,485 --> 00:48:28,110 Fine. Very well. He's coming along. 1018 00:48:28,110 --> 00:48:31,151 Now listen, Jaime's father is having an upcoming election. 1019 00:48:31,151 --> 00:48:34,318 And it won't look good if she was to be involved 1020 00:48:34,318 --> 00:48:35,985 with someone from the lower class. 1021 00:48:35,985 --> 00:48:37,652 Isn't Jaime a freshman? 1022 00:48:38,652 --> 00:48:40,318 All right, so you want me 1023 00:48:40,318 --> 00:48:41,819 to tell Jamal to stop seeing Jaime. 1024 00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:43,652 He'll just tell me, "Hey, man-- 1025 00:48:43,652 --> 00:48:46,527 Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. 1026 00:48:46,527 --> 00:48:48,110 Point well taken. 1027 00:48:48,110 --> 00:48:50,610 I need you to help me get proof 1028 00:48:50,610 --> 00:48:53,151 that Jamal is diddling Jaime. 1029 00:48:53,151 --> 00:48:55,235 Oh, I see now. 1030 00:48:55,235 --> 00:48:57,151 Yes, it's all good. 1031 00:48:57,151 --> 00:48:59,652 Yeah, I'll go holler at him, son. 1032 00:49:00,902 --> 00:49:02,610 Bill, Bill. 1033 00:49:02,610 --> 00:49:04,694 Did you just call me son? 1034 00:49:04,694 --> 00:49:06,819 Word. 1035 00:49:07,777 --> 00:49:10,068 Word? 1036 00:49:10,068 --> 00:49:12,527 Stroke, smoke, 1037 00:49:12,527 --> 00:49:14,360 stroke, smoke, 1038 00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,694 stroke, smoke, 1039 00:49:16,694 --> 00:49:19,360 stroke, smoke, 1040 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,944 stroke, smoke-- 1041 00:49:21,944 --> 00:49:24,985 If Dean Cain think he can kick me out the school that easy, 1042 00:49:24,985 --> 00:49:26,902 he got another thing coming. 1043 00:49:26,902 --> 00:49:29,485 - What an asshole. - Hey, Coach, thanks a lot. 1044 00:49:29,485 --> 00:49:30,527 I owe you. 1045 00:49:30,527 --> 00:49:32,860 - Ooh. - Listen, Jaime, 1046 00:49:32,860 --> 00:49:36,360 me and you cannot see each other no more. 1047 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,610 No more dating, no more fooling around. 1048 00:49:38,610 --> 00:49:40,610 None of that! It stops. That's it. 1049 00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:42,777 Yes, it's probably better 1050 00:49:42,777 --> 00:49:44,694 if we stop seeing each other 1051 00:49:44,694 --> 00:49:47,694 for the sake of my father's campaign. 1052 00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:50,360 If he lost the election and it was my fault, 1053 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,652 gosh-golly, 1054 00:49:52,652 --> 00:49:55,568 that would be so hard on me. 1055 00:49:56,735 --> 00:49:58,819 I don't think I could live with myself. 1056 00:49:58,819 --> 00:50:00,860 But baby, maybe it'd be better 1057 00:50:00,860 --> 00:50:03,068 if you went to school somewhere down south. 1058 00:50:06,068 --> 00:50:08,193 JAMAL: I think you should go down south first. 1059 00:50:08,193 --> 00:50:10,360 This guy's a real asshole. 1060 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:12,652 JEFF: I can't. 1061 00:50:12,652 --> 00:50:14,276 I can't do it, all right? 1062 00:50:14,276 --> 00:50:16,360 If you don't bring your ass on-- 1063 00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,026 We got work to do before Dean Dickhead gets back. 1064 00:50:19,026 --> 00:50:21,068 Come on. 1065 00:50:35,151 --> 00:50:37,443 Aren't you worried about getting kicked out? 1066 00:50:37,443 --> 00:50:40,110 For this? He ain't never gonna find out. Relax. 1067 00:50:45,193 --> 00:50:47,110 ( bird-call ) 1068 00:50:51,527 --> 00:50:54,235 What happen to bird? Crazy shitting everywhere? 1069 00:50:54,235 --> 00:50:55,652 Crazy shit, all right. 1070 00:50:55,652 --> 00:50:57,777 And it will be everywhere. 1071 00:50:58,777 --> 00:51:00,694 With that they just won't shit. 1072 00:51:00,694 --> 00:51:03,443 - Yeah. - They're gonna blow up. 1073 00:51:04,944 --> 00:51:06,902 ( yelling, laughing ) 1074 00:51:32,443 --> 00:51:35,193 And as for you two, 1075 00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:37,819 ever since you arrived on this campus, 1076 00:51:37,819 --> 00:51:39,652 there's been several mishaps. 1077 00:51:39,652 --> 00:51:41,652 Now, my instincts tell me it's you, 1078 00:51:41,652 --> 00:51:44,110 but I can't prove it. Not yet. 1079 00:51:44,110 --> 00:51:46,527 But I know if I give you enough time, 1080 00:51:46,527 --> 00:51:48,944 pretty soon you're going to slip up. 1081 00:51:48,944 --> 00:51:50,860 And then I'll be able to send you back 1082 00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:53,652 to your miserable existence. 1083 00:51:59,777 --> 00:52:01,944 What the hell are you wearing? 1084 00:52:01,944 --> 00:52:03,318 Bufu! 1085 00:52:03,318 --> 00:52:05,110 Bufu? 1086 00:52:05,110 --> 00:52:07,360 By us, fuck you. 1087 00:52:08,235 --> 00:52:10,527 Get out! Out, out, out... 1088 00:52:11,902 --> 00:52:14,276 By us, fuck you. 1089 00:52:14,276 --> 00:52:16,777 JAMAL: If the chancellor's throwing a Halloween party, 1090 00:52:16,777 --> 00:52:18,985 wait till Harvard see our Halloween party. 1091 00:52:18,985 --> 00:52:21,610 SILAS: Yeah, but if Dean Cain find out about this shit, 1092 00:52:21,610 --> 00:52:24,235 he gonna be mad as a motherfucker. 1093 00:52:24,235 --> 00:52:25,819 What the fuck is he gonna do? 1094 00:52:25,819 --> 00:52:28,026 We got the Ivory, getting straight A's. 1095 00:52:28,026 --> 00:52:31,527 We got this motherfucker locked! 1096 00:52:33,318 --> 00:52:35,443 They look like they got money. 1097 00:52:35,443 --> 00:52:36,735 They kinda cute. 1098 00:52:36,735 --> 00:52:39,902 Girl, we gonna get paid. 1099 00:52:41,193 --> 00:52:44,068 - How you doing? - For real. 1100 00:52:45,819 --> 00:52:48,568 - End-table ass! - Hella back. 1101 00:52:48,568 --> 00:52:51,151 Where the party at? We trying to get a party on and stuff. 1102 00:52:51,151 --> 00:52:52,860 We having a party. 1103 00:52:52,860 --> 00:52:55,402 Costume party at the Lovell house. 1104 00:52:55,402 --> 00:52:57,402 - Ooh. - 11:00 pm. 1105 00:52:57,402 --> 00:53:00,402 Please, bring your ass and titties along with ya. 1106 00:53:00,402 --> 00:53:02,360 We want all the hos out here to come. 1107 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,652 Wait a minute. Did you just call us hos? 1108 00:53:04,652 --> 00:53:06,568 I meant that in a good way. 1109 00:53:06,568 --> 00:53:08,568 - Oh. - Oh, okay. 1110 00:53:08,568 --> 00:53:10,735 Here. Now, bring all your horny friends. 1111 00:53:10,735 --> 00:53:12,735 There you go. Bring all the hos. 1112 00:53:12,735 --> 00:53:14,735 Y'all gonna pay us, right? 1113 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:18,151 I don't hear nothing. 1114 00:53:18,151 --> 00:53:19,652 Yo, we got dough. Talk to 'em. 1115 00:53:19,652 --> 00:53:21,318 Yeah, yeah. We got dough. 1116 00:53:21,318 --> 00:53:22,944 If not, our best friends got dough. 1117 00:53:22,944 --> 00:53:24,568 And if not, their best friends got dough. 1118 00:53:24,568 --> 00:53:26,568 Okay, yeah. We down with that. 1119 00:53:28,110 --> 00:53:29,527 Ass, titties, ballers. 1120 00:53:29,527 --> 00:53:31,276 Ballers, girl! 1121 00:53:31,276 --> 00:53:33,110 - Okay, all right. - Ballers, all right. 1122 00:53:36,944 --> 00:53:39,151 BOTH: Whoo. 1123 00:53:39,151 --> 00:53:41,735 Popcorn player. 1124 00:53:44,276 --> 00:53:47,360 SILAS: I got one more delivery to make. 1125 00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,568 Guess who used to be black? 1126 00:53:51,777 --> 00:53:54,193 Oh, Dean Cain. But he is black. 1127 00:53:54,193 --> 00:53:55,777 Like a polar bear. 1128 00:53:55,777 --> 00:53:57,485 But I got a recipe that'll inject 1129 00:53:57,485 --> 00:54:00,402 some ghetto back in his ass. 1130 00:54:00,402 --> 00:54:02,652 Got some more beer. 1131 00:54:02,652 --> 00:54:04,485 What did you do to yourself? 1132 00:54:05,694 --> 00:54:07,235 Oh, oh. The fox club. 1133 00:54:07,235 --> 00:54:08,735 They put me in a shopping cart 1134 00:54:08,735 --> 00:54:10,485 and shoved me down a hill. 1135 00:54:10,485 --> 00:54:12,819 Thank God I fell out before I hit the freeway. 1136 00:54:12,819 --> 00:54:14,985 What the fuck are you doing? Put the milk back. 1137 00:54:14,985 --> 00:54:17,068 You're not supposed to steal from us! 1138 00:54:17,068 --> 00:54:19,568 Why are you always taking violent tones with people? 1139 00:54:19,568 --> 00:54:21,652 Man, shut up before I kick your ass! 1140 00:54:21,652 --> 00:54:23,151 You know, as human beings 1141 00:54:23,151 --> 00:54:24,485 we should be able to talk this out, 1142 00:54:24,485 --> 00:54:26,110 not resort to violence. 1143 00:54:26,110 --> 00:54:28,151 How you gonna talk when you shutting up? 1144 00:54:28,151 --> 00:54:30,068 - Fine! Fine! You want some violence?! - ( glass shatters ) 1145 00:54:30,068 --> 00:54:31,819 You want a piece of this? Come on! 1146 00:54:31,819 --> 00:54:33,944 I'll show you some violence! Well, come on! 1147 00:54:34,819 --> 00:54:37,318 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 1148 00:54:37,318 --> 00:54:39,110 Oh, God! 1149 00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:41,860 Now, go to time-out. 1150 00:54:42,902 --> 00:54:44,151 Go to your room. 1151 00:54:50,485 --> 00:54:53,068 ( doorbell rings ) 1152 00:54:53,068 --> 00:54:55,985 I wonder who this could be. 1153 00:54:55,985 --> 00:54:57,902 Oh, my goodness. 1154 00:54:57,902 --> 00:54:59,527 Honey, look at this. 1155 00:54:59,527 --> 00:55:01,360 I wonder who these are from? 1156 00:55:03,193 --> 00:55:06,318 "Dear Carl, saw these and thought of you. 1157 00:55:06,318 --> 00:55:08,318 Love, Mrs. Ray." 1158 00:55:08,318 --> 00:55:10,485 It's my old school mum! 1159 00:55:10,485 --> 00:55:13,026 I haven't heard from her in years. 1160 00:55:13,026 --> 00:55:14,694 Oh, how sweet. 1161 00:55:14,694 --> 00:55:17,026 She knows I love brownies. 1162 00:55:18,735 --> 00:55:21,777 Mmm. A little piece of heaven. 1163 00:55:21,777 --> 00:55:23,110 Better than mine? 1164 00:55:23,110 --> 00:55:25,360 Darling, I don't remember you cooking brownies. 1165 00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:26,902 You're right. I don't. 1166 00:55:26,902 --> 00:55:28,777 Hurry up, you're going to make us late. 1167 00:55:28,777 --> 00:55:30,568 You know how I hate to be late. 1168 00:55:30,568 --> 00:55:31,902 - Hurry, hurry, hurry. - All right. 1169 00:55:31,902 --> 00:55:33,735 I'll take these upstairs. 1170 00:55:35,235 --> 00:55:36,485 I'll have another. 1171 00:55:36,485 --> 00:55:37,819 They're great. 1172 00:55:37,819 --> 00:55:40,568 Throw me a beer, you big weenie! 1173 00:55:44,902 --> 00:55:46,735 Whoo! 1174 00:55:50,402 --> 00:55:52,068 Lovell house! 1175 00:55:52,068 --> 00:55:53,568 ( loud burp ) 1176 00:55:56,652 --> 00:55:58,819 Cypress Hill. What up, fellas? 1177 00:55:58,819 --> 00:56:00,193 What's up, man? 1178 00:56:00,193 --> 00:56:02,402 - How was the trip? - Good. Good. 1179 00:56:02,402 --> 00:56:04,110 I see Muggs couldn't make it, 1180 00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:05,652 so I brought my man, I need money. 1181 00:56:05,652 --> 00:56:07,527 - Is he any good? - Yeah, he don't talk. 1182 00:56:07,527 --> 00:56:09,068 He speak with his hands. Know what I mean? 1183 00:56:09,068 --> 00:56:11,985 - Right, right, right. - You have a good show. 1184 00:56:11,985 --> 00:56:13,819 - ( record scratches ) - Hey, hey. 1185 00:56:13,819 --> 00:56:16,402 Don't fuck up tonight, all right? 1186 00:56:20,735 --> 00:56:22,944 Hey, what the fuck is the plate for, man? 1187 00:56:27,527 --> 00:56:29,735 It's gonna be a long night. 1188 00:56:31,944 --> 00:56:33,360 - Carl. - Philip. 1189 00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,151 - How are you? - Wonderful. 1190 00:56:35,151 --> 00:56:37,568 You know Miss Janowitz from the chemistry department. 1191 00:56:37,568 --> 00:56:39,610 And Miss Lovell from administration. 1192 00:56:39,610 --> 00:56:42,193 - You know my wife, Sheila. - Almost didn't recognize you. 1193 00:56:42,193 --> 00:56:44,819 I thought you brought a professional model to the party. 1194 00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:47,568 - You look lovely. - Oh, Philip. 1195 00:56:47,568 --> 00:56:49,276 Yeah, the bitch is fine, ain't she? 1196 00:56:49,276 --> 00:56:50,610 What? 1197 00:56:50,610 --> 00:56:52,735 Dear, can you at least feign some interest? 1198 00:56:52,735 --> 00:56:54,151 You're embarrassing me. 1199 00:56:54,151 --> 00:56:56,944 And will you loosen up? You're so stiff sometimes. 1200 00:56:56,944 --> 00:56:58,402 Stiff? 1201 00:56:58,402 --> 00:57:01,318 This party is stiff. 1202 00:57:01,318 --> 00:57:03,318 Excuse me, can you hold this? I'm hot. 1203 00:57:03,318 --> 00:57:05,151 Can you put this back on, actually? 1204 00:57:05,151 --> 00:57:06,985 Your-- your butt is sticking out. 1205 00:57:08,193 --> 00:57:09,985 What? 1206 00:57:10,902 --> 00:57:12,944 What a jerk! 1207 00:57:14,652 --> 00:57:16,902 PHILIP: Don't spoil your appetite. We're about to have 1208 00:57:16,902 --> 00:57:18,985 some lobster bisque and Indian pudding. 1209 00:57:18,985 --> 00:57:21,235 I got the munchies like a motherfucker. 1210 00:57:21,235 --> 00:57:23,235 Hold this, baby. 1211 00:57:23,235 --> 00:57:25,068 He seems unusual tonight. 1212 00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:27,026 He's dehydrated. 1213 00:57:30,026 --> 00:57:32,026 - Dance. - ( groans ) 1214 00:57:33,402 --> 00:57:35,026 Yo, baby, this is boring as hell! 1215 00:57:35,026 --> 00:57:36,902 Yo, yo, yo, DJ?! 1216 00:57:36,902 --> 00:57:39,985 Hit me! 1217 00:57:39,985 --> 00:57:42,026 ( hip-hop playing ) 1218 00:57:47,443 --> 00:57:49,026 Come here, girl! 1219 00:57:51,193 --> 00:57:53,527 Go, Dean! 1220 00:58:09,902 --> 00:58:11,902 See, I told you I have you covered. 1221 00:58:11,902 --> 00:58:15,068 There go the two big ballers right there. 1222 00:58:17,068 --> 00:58:19,527 - You two stay put. - I'm going to hurt you. 1223 00:58:20,902 --> 00:58:23,026 Hey, hey, hey... 1224 00:58:24,235 --> 00:58:26,193 Yo, J, yo, T. 1225 00:58:26,193 --> 00:58:29,151 See those two fine-ass hos right there? 1226 00:58:29,151 --> 00:58:31,485 Don't you wish they were really hos? 1227 00:58:31,485 --> 00:58:32,985 And they came over here and said, 1228 00:58:32,985 --> 00:58:35,568 "We want to run a dick-sucking marathon 1229 00:58:35,568 --> 00:58:37,068 with y'all two." 1230 00:58:37,068 --> 00:58:39,485 - Oh, yeah. I'd like that. - Me, too. 1231 00:58:39,485 --> 00:58:41,944 Okay, you and you. 1232 00:58:41,944 --> 00:58:45,068 We want to run a dick-sucking marathon with y'all. 1233 00:58:46,402 --> 00:58:48,235 TUAN: Okay. 1234 00:58:48,235 --> 00:58:49,985 I'm not that good at it. 1235 00:58:49,985 --> 00:58:51,652 Oh, baby, I ain't laughing. 1236 00:58:51,652 --> 00:58:53,944 I'm gonna make you mine. 1237 00:58:53,944 --> 00:58:55,777 Smells good. 1238 00:58:55,777 --> 00:58:57,735 Pretty boy lookin' motherfucker. 1239 00:58:58,610 --> 00:59:00,527 Hey, don't be scared. 1240 00:59:00,527 --> 00:59:02,276 It's only pussy. 1241 00:59:03,443 --> 00:59:05,402 Don't be scared. 1242 00:59:05,402 --> 00:59:08,068 I got two inches of hard dick. 1243 00:59:09,276 --> 00:59:11,735 I'll work with you, baby. Come on. 1244 00:59:16,652 --> 00:59:18,318 POWDER: Costume party. 1245 00:59:18,318 --> 00:59:20,944 Place, Lovell house. Time, Friday. 1246 00:59:20,944 --> 00:59:23,610 - It is Friday. - That's what she told Cocoa Butter. 1247 00:59:23,610 --> 00:59:25,694 These bitches better be getting my money. 1248 00:59:25,694 --> 00:59:28,110 Hella back is my bottom bitch. You know that, right? 1249 00:59:28,110 --> 00:59:29,860 - Right, right. - Okay. 1250 00:59:29,860 --> 00:59:31,652 The bitch better be out here checkin' my money. 1251 00:59:31,652 --> 00:59:33,819 Please don't cuss. You know when I'm trying 1252 00:59:33,819 --> 00:59:35,944 to listen to the word. The Lord don't like that. 1253 00:59:35,944 --> 00:59:38,193 - What did I say? - You said, "bitch." 1254 00:59:38,193 --> 00:59:40,402 and "bitch" ain't in the Bible. 1255 00:59:40,402 --> 00:59:42,276 I know, bitch! And neither is motherfucker! 1256 00:59:42,276 --> 00:59:44,318 So drive this motherfuckin' car! 1257 00:59:44,318 --> 00:59:46,485 And you the assistant pimp. 1258 00:59:46,485 --> 00:59:48,193 You ain't even a real pimp. 1259 00:59:48,193 --> 00:59:50,610 You're supposed to co-signing to the shit that I say. 1260 00:59:50,610 --> 00:59:52,985 You want to lose your job? I'm gonna pull your application. 1261 00:59:52,985 --> 00:59:55,026 Now let's practice it. Where's my bitches? 1262 00:59:55,026 --> 00:59:57,235 - Where's my bitches? - Where's my bitches? 1263 00:59:57,235 --> 00:59:59,652 You got to say it together. It goes in together. 1264 00:59:59,652 --> 01:00:01,527 - Where my bitches? - Where my bitches? 1265 01:00:01,527 --> 01:00:03,026 Okay, check this out. Where my bitches? 1266 01:00:03,026 --> 01:00:05,443 Where my-- can't we just say employees? 1267 01:00:05,443 --> 01:00:08,110 What about your employees? No, fuck that. 1268 01:00:11,402 --> 01:00:13,652 Great ass! 1269 01:00:15,068 --> 01:00:16,944 ♪ Bounce up just like weed on your chest ♪ 1270 01:00:16,944 --> 01:00:18,819 ♪ Think you got endo, hold your breath ♪ 1271 01:00:18,819 --> 01:00:20,443 ♪ Spittin' on the track with red and meth ♪ 1272 01:00:20,443 --> 01:00:22,193 ♪ Holdin' up a fat when you smoke a cassette ♪ 1273 01:00:22,193 --> 01:00:23,819 ♪ Or CDs, we be the one with ouijas ♪ 1274 01:00:23,819 --> 01:00:25,360 ♪ Spread it on the arm, come on believe me ♪ 1275 01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:26,944 ♪ Look who it is, the funky feel ♪ 1276 01:00:26,944 --> 01:00:28,568 ♪ Smokin' assassin from Cypress Hill ♪ 1277 01:00:28,568 --> 01:00:30,276 ♪ DJ T just resonated ♪ 1278 01:00:30,276 --> 01:00:33,026 CROWD: Go, go, go! 1279 01:00:39,068 --> 01:00:41,694 - Silas, hi. - Hey, hey. 1280 01:00:41,694 --> 01:00:43,276 Let me ask you a question. 1281 01:00:43,276 --> 01:00:44,694 Now, don't laugh. 1282 01:00:44,694 --> 01:00:46,360 But, um... 1283 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:48,235 does my ass look fat? 1284 01:00:48,235 --> 01:00:51,193 No, I say put another one on the front of you just like it, 1285 01:00:51,193 --> 01:00:53,110 I'll slap both them motherfuckers. 1286 01:00:53,110 --> 01:00:54,985 Badow! Badow! 1287 01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:58,819 Here, peer pressure. Peer pressure. 1288 01:00:58,819 --> 01:01:02,068 - Let me holler at you. - Okay. 1289 01:01:02,068 --> 01:01:04,068 Oh, that's my song. 1290 01:01:05,902 --> 01:01:07,735 Ooh, what's this? 1291 01:01:07,735 --> 01:01:10,652 Ooh, you got a big sword, baby. 1292 01:01:10,652 --> 01:01:12,318 I-- 1293 01:01:12,318 --> 01:01:13,860 I have to go prepare. 1294 01:01:13,860 --> 01:01:16,443 You ain't got to do shit, baby, 1295 01:01:16,443 --> 01:01:18,360 except climb out of this costume 1296 01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,110 and climb into some pussy. 1297 01:01:21,110 --> 01:01:23,443 You have to appreciate the colorful use 1298 01:01:23,443 --> 01:01:25,610 - of English language. - Oh, yeah! 1299 01:01:25,610 --> 01:01:28,193 Give me that Chinese egg roll fuck. 1300 01:01:28,193 --> 01:01:30,527 TUAN: I love America! 1301 01:01:30,527 --> 01:01:32,193 ♪ Rhymes we kick and weed we pour ♪ 1302 01:01:32,193 --> 01:01:33,944 ♪ Get you vatos all fucked up ♪ 1303 01:01:33,944 --> 01:01:35,985 ♪ And sing along to my get high song ♪ 1304 01:01:35,985 --> 01:01:37,902 ♪ Had you chokin' on four-foot bong ♪ 1305 01:01:37,902 --> 01:01:39,485 ♪ Cypress Hill and weed, can't go wrong ♪ 1306 01:01:39,485 --> 01:01:41,026 ♪ Keep you smokin' like Cheech and Chong. ♪ 1307 01:01:41,026 --> 01:01:43,026 Let it be something that he is involved in, 1308 01:01:43,026 --> 01:01:46,443 and I'd better be the biggest cheerleader. He's a huge baby. 1309 01:01:46,443 --> 01:01:49,193 Yeah, I hear you with your fine ass, but pass the blunt. 1310 01:01:49,193 --> 01:01:51,443 Damn, you hogging the whole shit. 1311 01:01:51,443 --> 01:01:53,819 I'm sorry. 1312 01:01:53,819 --> 01:01:56,610 I must be buzzed, I'm babbling. 1313 01:01:57,610 --> 01:02:00,610 You know, you surprised me by getting high. 1314 01:02:01,568 --> 01:02:03,485 I'm not that much of a square, Silas. 1315 01:02:03,485 --> 01:02:05,902 I did do it once in high school. 1316 01:02:08,527 --> 01:02:10,276 What about you? 1317 01:02:10,276 --> 01:02:11,944 We all have secrets. 1318 01:02:11,944 --> 01:02:13,610 Well, if you act right, 1319 01:02:13,610 --> 01:02:16,026 I might just let you in my head one day. 1320 01:02:16,026 --> 01:02:17,443 Whatever. 1321 01:02:17,443 --> 01:02:20,151 But I ain't saying shit on the first date. 1322 01:02:20,151 --> 01:02:22,527 Who said this was a date? 1323 01:02:22,527 --> 01:02:24,318 You smoked my weed, didn't you? 1324 01:02:24,318 --> 01:02:26,318 And we almost kissed, didn't we? 1325 01:02:26,318 --> 01:02:28,235 - We did not. - Yes, we did. 1326 01:02:28,235 --> 01:02:29,985 - We did not. - Here, hit this. 1327 01:02:36,402 --> 01:02:39,652 Oh, my bad. Did I spoil the moment? 1328 01:02:39,652 --> 01:02:42,485 I can't help it, though. Them shits was talking to me. 1329 01:02:42,485 --> 01:02:44,068 You know what? 1330 01:02:44,068 --> 01:02:46,276 Look at them things. Turn the headlights off. 1331 01:02:46,276 --> 01:02:48,819 I'm gonna tell you something. This pimpin' that I got in my blood, 1332 01:02:48,819 --> 01:02:50,318 it came from a family trait. 1333 01:02:50,318 --> 01:02:52,235 My grandaddy was a pimp. 1334 01:02:52,235 --> 01:02:54,652 My great-great-great grandaddy was a pimp. 1335 01:02:54,652 --> 01:02:56,819 I'm talking about pimpin' been since pimpin' 1336 01:02:56,819 --> 01:02:57,902 since been pimpin'. 1337 01:02:57,902 --> 01:03:00,235 - It's in your bloodline. - It's in my blood. 1338 01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:02,860 - And you will never be that. - Wh-- what? 1339 01:03:02,860 --> 01:03:05,151 Because you was born, all the people 1340 01:03:05,151 --> 01:03:07,068 in your family were assistant pimps. 1341 01:03:07,068 --> 01:03:09,694 Assistant pimp? I never did tell you that. 1342 01:03:09,694 --> 01:03:11,819 I thought you was the one the Lord chose. 1343 01:03:11,819 --> 01:03:13,485 If it had not been for the Lord, 1344 01:03:13,485 --> 01:03:15,068 I wouldn't have not 1345 01:03:15,068 --> 01:03:16,944 had a bitch come into my life. 1346 01:03:16,944 --> 01:03:18,777 - Not now, never? - Not a now, notha bitch. 1347 01:03:18,777 --> 01:03:21,402 Nobody say that now, nothing like you say that now notha. 1348 01:03:21,402 --> 01:03:22,902 Not a now, notha bitch. 1349 01:03:22,902 --> 01:03:24,819 And I still don't know what that shit means, 1350 01:03:24,819 --> 01:03:26,276 but it sound good. 1351 01:03:26,276 --> 01:03:27,694 Now notha means, 1352 01:03:27,694 --> 01:03:30,026 "don't get a now nothin'." 1353 01:03:30,026 --> 01:03:32,527 - A now nothin'. - Nothin' outta them. 1354 01:03:33,443 --> 01:03:35,360 Man, shut the fuck up and drive this mother-- 1355 01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:37,068 I apologize, Father. 1356 01:03:37,068 --> 01:03:39,360 ♪ Y'all gonna make me lose my mind ♪ 1357 01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:41,610 ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪ 1358 01:03:41,610 --> 01:03:44,110 ♪ Y'all gonna make me go all out ♪ 1359 01:03:44,110 --> 01:03:46,443 ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪ 1360 01:03:46,443 --> 01:03:48,777 ♪ Y'all gonna make me act a fool ♪ 1361 01:03:48,777 --> 01:03:51,318 ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪ 1362 01:03:51,318 --> 01:03:53,402 ♪ Y'all gonna make me lose my cool ♪ 1363 01:03:55,860 --> 01:03:58,402 Raging party with open beer cans in hallway. 1364 01:04:12,402 --> 01:04:14,402 What's this? 1365 01:04:20,235 --> 01:04:21,985 Sterilize hands tonight. 1366 01:04:21,985 --> 01:04:24,777 Sterilize hands tonight with anti-bacterial cream many times. 1367 01:04:33,610 --> 01:04:35,777 What do we have here? 1368 01:04:36,902 --> 01:04:38,944 Nothing. 1369 01:04:40,318 --> 01:04:42,110 Ah-ha! 1370 01:04:44,235 --> 01:04:46,902 Multi-socket extension cubes. 1371 01:04:46,902 --> 01:04:48,777 This is against campus fire code, 1372 01:04:48,777 --> 01:04:50,318 section 1743: 1373 01:04:50,318 --> 01:04:52,568 "Thou shall not allow multi-socket extension cubes 1374 01:04:52,568 --> 01:04:55,443 use in dorm rooms. 1375 01:04:55,443 --> 01:04:58,110 The extension cords themselves are intertwined 1376 01:04:58,110 --> 01:04:59,860 in the most flammable of ways, 1377 01:04:59,860 --> 01:05:01,902 and are producing an immense amount of heat. 1378 01:05:01,902 --> 01:05:04,068 It could cause an ignition at any point--" 1379 01:05:06,026 --> 01:05:08,318 ♪ I smack him with my dick and the mic ♪ 1380 01:05:08,318 --> 01:05:10,443 ♪ Y'all niggaz is characters, not even good actors ♪ 1381 01:05:10,443 --> 01:05:12,443 ♪ What's gonna be the outcome? Let's add up all the factors ♪ 1382 01:05:12,443 --> 01:05:14,610 ♪ You wack, you're twisted, your girl's a ho ♪ 1383 01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:16,193 ♪ You're broke, the kid ain't yours... ♪ 1384 01:05:16,193 --> 01:05:18,110 I'll be damned. What is that? 1385 01:05:19,110 --> 01:05:20,443 It's-- 1386 01:05:20,443 --> 01:05:22,735 this a baby. 1387 01:05:22,735 --> 01:05:24,610 ( mimics cry ) 1388 01:05:31,151 --> 01:05:33,193 This ain't no damn baby. 1389 01:05:33,193 --> 01:05:34,860 What kind of shit is that hangin' out the back? 1390 01:05:34,860 --> 01:05:36,819 I need to get her home. Excuse me. 1391 01:05:36,819 --> 01:05:38,860 - ( mimicking cry ) - Where you going with that? 1392 01:05:38,860 --> 01:05:40,985 - Come on. - God damn. 1393 01:05:40,985 --> 01:05:43,193 ♪ Y'all gonna make me act a fool ♪ 1394 01:05:43,193 --> 01:05:46,276 ♪ Up in here, up in here... ♪ 1395 01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:48,276 Where them motherfuckin' bitches at? 1396 01:05:48,276 --> 01:05:49,860 Man, it smell like-- 1397 01:05:49,860 --> 01:05:51,652 Look at that, look at this little bitty bitch. 1398 01:05:51,652 --> 01:05:54,110 Hey, little bitty bitch. 1399 01:05:54,110 --> 01:05:56,527 You little bitch, you better get up off of me! 1400 01:05:56,527 --> 01:05:59,026 - Where's my bitches? - ( knocking ) 1401 01:06:00,610 --> 01:06:02,235 Yo, what's up, homie? 1402 01:06:02,235 --> 01:06:03,985 - Where's my bitches at? - Where're our bitches? 1403 01:06:03,985 --> 01:06:05,610 You got the voice down, 1404 01:06:05,610 --> 01:06:07,318 but those outfits no good. 1405 01:06:07,318 --> 01:06:08,860 What's wrong with my shit? 1406 01:06:08,860 --> 01:06:11,985 Homie, puh-lease! Your Halloween costume! 1407 01:06:11,985 --> 01:06:15,026 If you pimp, you broke pimp! 1408 01:06:16,026 --> 01:06:18,110 You know you're fucked up, Woody, don't you? 1409 01:06:18,110 --> 01:06:20,026 - Come on with it. - Baby powder? 1410 01:06:21,485 --> 01:06:23,527 You changing diapers? 1411 01:06:41,151 --> 01:06:44,735 ( coughing ) 1412 01:06:56,777 --> 01:06:58,902 ( screaming ) 1413 01:07:01,735 --> 01:07:03,568 What the fuck is all this? 1414 01:07:03,568 --> 01:07:06,068 - What you all three bitches want? - Tell 'em, Powder! 1415 01:07:06,068 --> 01:07:08,235 We already got pussy here. Y'all come back later. 1416 01:07:08,235 --> 01:07:10,068 I'm about to knock you the fuck out. 1417 01:07:10,068 --> 01:07:12,610 I'm gonna do the knockin' out. Come on with it. 1418 01:07:24,527 --> 01:07:26,110 Where you going? 1419 01:07:27,026 --> 01:07:28,610 You got to stay! 1420 01:07:28,610 --> 01:07:31,151 A party ain't a party without you! 1421 01:07:31,151 --> 01:07:32,777 You smelly little mother-- 1422 01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,443 Plus, there's no room in the limo! 1423 01:07:37,735 --> 01:07:39,276 I'll be back for you, man! 1424 01:07:41,777 --> 01:07:43,276 You ain't gonna need this. 1425 01:07:44,276 --> 01:07:46,610 Cops! 1426 01:07:46,610 --> 01:07:48,527 Somebody owes me for a night's worth 1427 01:07:48,527 --> 01:07:50,443 of flat-back fuckin' up in here! 1428 01:07:59,485 --> 01:08:02,151 This is exhilarating. But don't get the wrong idea. 1429 01:08:02,151 --> 01:08:04,485 Megan and I have never done anything like this before. 1430 01:08:04,485 --> 01:08:07,527 - We're virgins. - Yeah, both of us. 1431 01:08:07,527 --> 01:08:10,568 Molly and I are really into Diangelo. 1432 01:08:10,568 --> 01:08:12,652 - Do you have any? - Ain't that a bi-- 1433 01:08:12,652 --> 01:08:14,360 Hell, no! We ain't got no Diang-- 1434 01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:15,860 And let me let you know something! 1435 01:08:15,860 --> 01:08:17,985 While in this car, you don't run shit! 1436 01:08:17,985 --> 01:08:20,276 - Tell 'em, Powder. - Dick drives this car! 1437 01:08:20,276 --> 01:08:21,610 Not pussy! 1438 01:08:23,026 --> 01:08:25,652 You think it's funny, bitch?! This is pimpin' here. 1439 01:08:25,652 --> 01:08:27,485 I've been on "Wheel Of Fortune," 1440 01:08:27,485 --> 01:08:29,068 "Price Is Right--" it's funny? 1441 01:08:29,068 --> 01:08:30,777 - Come on with it. - Oh, boy. 1442 01:08:30,777 --> 01:08:32,735 Y'all rather piss off barracuda than piss off Powder. 1443 01:08:32,735 --> 01:08:34,652 Oh, it's funny. Keep on laughing. 1444 01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:36,360 Bring your face over here. 1445 01:08:37,777 --> 01:08:39,652 Pay that shit! 1446 01:08:41,694 --> 01:08:43,026 Wow. 1447 01:08:43,026 --> 01:08:45,777 Ooh. 1448 01:08:45,777 --> 01:08:48,360 JAMAL: Man, come on. You act like I took it. 1449 01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,694 - We'll just get some more. - Ain't no more. 1450 01:08:50,694 --> 01:08:52,985 All of Ivory's ashes was in just that plant. 1451 01:08:52,985 --> 01:08:54,652 Now, come on, let's go see 1452 01:08:54,652 --> 01:08:56,902 what this Dean Stick-Up-His-Ass wants. 1453 01:08:56,902 --> 01:08:59,193 He probably gonna curse us out about that wild-ass party. 1454 01:08:59,193 --> 01:09:01,819 Man, that party was not that wild. 1455 01:09:04,443 --> 01:09:07,110 Yeah, it did get a little out of hand. 1456 01:09:07,110 --> 01:09:08,652 Know what I'm saying? 1457 01:09:08,652 --> 01:09:10,527 Sex novelties, obscenity, 1458 01:09:10,527 --> 01:09:13,568 fighting, indecent exposure, 1459 01:09:13,568 --> 01:09:16,568 rock bands without a permit. 1460 01:09:17,735 --> 01:09:20,902 Welcome, gentlemen, to academic probation. 1461 01:09:22,235 --> 01:09:24,318 Damn, who gonna be our O.O.? 1462 01:09:24,318 --> 01:09:26,527 How charmingly ghetto. 1463 01:09:27,527 --> 01:09:29,068 You're dismissed. 1464 01:09:34,151 --> 01:09:36,068 We ain't got no Ivory, 1465 01:09:36,068 --> 01:09:39,360 we're about to get kicked the fuck out of here, 1466 01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,402 and what the fuck are you doing? 1467 01:09:41,402 --> 01:09:43,485 I'm working on my truth serum. 1468 01:09:43,485 --> 01:09:45,902 Why you got to sound all belligerent about my shit? 1469 01:09:45,902 --> 01:09:48,235 - "Belligerent"? - Yeah, belligerent. 1470 01:09:48,235 --> 01:09:50,235 As in abusive or truculent. 1471 01:09:52,402 --> 01:09:54,902 You keep on using them big-ass Harvard words 1472 01:09:54,902 --> 01:09:57,568 and your ghetto pass is gonna get revoked. 1473 01:09:57,568 --> 01:09:59,985 Why don't you go pick up a book or something? 1474 01:09:59,985 --> 01:10:01,443 If I get this shit right, 1475 01:10:01,443 --> 01:10:02,902 I'll get an "A" in botany class. 1476 01:10:02,902 --> 01:10:06,652 - Ah, motherfucker. - When I was 12, 1477 01:10:06,652 --> 01:10:09,777 I used to love watching my dogs hump. 1478 01:10:09,777 --> 01:10:13,443 We used to have a good time. 1479 01:10:13,443 --> 01:10:16,985 ( gurgling ) 1480 01:10:16,985 --> 01:10:18,610 Aaah! 1481 01:10:20,276 --> 01:10:22,110 God, this shit is nasty. 1482 01:10:22,110 --> 01:10:23,694 Aaah! 1483 01:10:23,694 --> 01:10:26,944 - What the fuck is that? - ( burps ) 1484 01:10:26,944 --> 01:10:29,068 I'm going to have to tweak this shit a little. 1485 01:10:29,068 --> 01:10:31,402 Me hungry. 1486 01:10:31,402 --> 01:10:35,318 I say we burn them books, go to that graveyard, 1487 01:10:35,318 --> 01:10:38,235 find us a smart dead guy, 1488 01:10:38,235 --> 01:10:40,318 and smoke his skeleton ass. 1489 01:10:40,318 --> 01:10:42,151 We sit down, blaze up, 1490 01:10:42,151 --> 01:10:44,485 hit the books for a few hours a day, 1491 01:10:44,485 --> 01:10:46,527 we got this. 1492 01:10:46,527 --> 01:10:49,151 I'm telling you, we don't need no smart dead guy. 1493 01:10:50,610 --> 01:10:51,902 Woo hoo hoo hoo. 1494 01:10:51,902 --> 01:10:54,193 That's what I'm talking about. 1495 01:10:54,193 --> 01:10:55,985 Light that shit up. 1496 01:10:58,527 --> 01:11:00,652 Hit them books, toonie. 1497 01:11:05,402 --> 01:11:07,318 ( coughs ) 1498 01:11:07,318 --> 01:11:09,110 ( rap music playing ) 1499 01:11:22,193 --> 01:11:24,527 ( screaming ) 1500 01:11:35,735 --> 01:11:37,944 JAMAL: These are our midterms? 1501 01:11:37,944 --> 01:11:40,026 See what I'm saying? All F's, son. 1502 01:11:40,026 --> 01:11:42,360 We are fucked. Fucked fucked fucked fucked! 1503 01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:45,527 How did I fail women's studies? 1504 01:11:45,527 --> 01:11:48,026 I love bitches! 1505 01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:52,610 What are we doing? 1506 01:11:52,610 --> 01:11:55,151 Looking for a smart dead guy. 1507 01:11:56,652 --> 01:11:59,443 Well, guys. Hey! This guy'll do. 1508 01:11:59,443 --> 01:12:01,026 He's a President. 1509 01:12:03,485 --> 01:12:05,819 Yeah, he should know all the fucking answers. 1510 01:12:05,819 --> 01:12:08,735 Answers? What are you talking about? 1511 01:12:08,735 --> 01:12:10,318 Oh, no, no, no, no! Wait, no, no! 1512 01:12:10,318 --> 01:12:12,819 You can't dig up somebody's grave! That's disgusting! 1513 01:12:12,819 --> 01:12:15,610 You guys don't think there's anything wrong with this? 1514 01:12:15,610 --> 01:12:17,777 Huh? 1515 01:12:17,777 --> 01:12:21,068 You guys are fucked up! What are you gonna do with this now? 1516 01:12:22,902 --> 01:12:25,902 - ( screams ) - What the fuck is this shit? 1517 01:12:25,902 --> 01:12:28,819 - ( gagging, coughing ) - Oh God. 1518 01:12:28,819 --> 01:12:30,944 Stop acting like a little bitch. Get the body. 1519 01:12:30,944 --> 01:12:33,360 - Shit. - ( gagging ) 1520 01:12:34,151 --> 01:12:36,902 What the fuck are you doing? 1521 01:12:36,902 --> 01:12:39,068 Get the body, man. 1522 01:12:39,068 --> 01:12:41,860 JAMAL: You should have some more respect for an ex-President. 1523 01:12:41,860 --> 01:12:44,318 Asshole. 1524 01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:46,276 SILAS: Come on, put this shit on your back. 1525 01:12:46,276 --> 01:12:48,443 JEFF: Oh God, no. 1526 01:12:48,443 --> 01:12:50,694 SILAS: Shut up before I slap the shit out of you! 1527 01:12:50,694 --> 01:12:53,110 Come on, come on, come on. 1528 01:12:55,777 --> 01:12:58,276 Oh my God, it's so-- 1529 01:13:01,694 --> 01:13:03,860 Fly! ( chuckles ) 1530 01:13:03,860 --> 01:13:05,068 Go fly! 1531 01:13:05,068 --> 01:13:07,151 Yo, Silas! What's up, dog? 1532 01:13:07,151 --> 01:13:09,110 - ( screams ) - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1533 01:13:09,110 --> 01:13:12,026 Who are you? Can you see me? 1534 01:13:12,026 --> 01:13:14,944 - Relax! Relax! - It's not opening. Open window! 1535 01:13:14,944 --> 01:13:17,694 Yo, what the fuck are we gonna do now? 1536 01:13:17,694 --> 01:13:19,860 Fuck you think we gonna do? 1537 01:13:19,860 --> 01:13:22,777 We gonna smoke his ass, then we gonna start asking questions. 1538 01:13:22,777 --> 01:13:23,944 Wait a minute. 1539 01:13:23,944 --> 01:13:26,026 Didn't you put the ashes in the soil 1540 01:13:26,026 --> 01:13:28,193 before you grew the plant? 1541 01:13:28,193 --> 01:13:29,860 We ain't got no time for that shit. 1542 01:13:29,860 --> 01:13:31,819 We got to grind him now. Get this on. 1543 01:13:31,819 --> 01:13:35,068 No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 1544 01:13:35,068 --> 01:13:37,318 - ( Jeff whimpers ) - This is a President, man. 1545 01:13:37,318 --> 01:13:38,777 What the fuck are we doing? 1546 01:13:38,777 --> 01:13:40,985 You want to stay in Harvard or what? 1547 01:13:40,985 --> 01:13:43,777 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1548 01:13:43,777 --> 01:13:45,735 I need money, did you check him for any jewelry 1549 01:13:45,735 --> 01:13:47,527 or money on him or anything? 1550 01:13:47,527 --> 01:13:51,151 Fuck all that! I'm cutting this arm now! 1551 01:13:51,151 --> 01:13:53,819 - ( all screaming ) - Son of a-- shit! 1552 01:13:55,193 --> 01:13:57,402 ( gags ) 1553 01:13:57,402 --> 01:13:59,485 Get the arm! Get the arm, man! 1554 01:13:59,485 --> 01:14:00,860 Y'all calm down! We got this! 1555 01:14:00,860 --> 01:14:03,318 - Calm down! - JEFF: This is insane. 1556 01:14:03,318 --> 01:14:06,485 - ( screaming, whimpering ) - Ohh, shit! 1557 01:14:06,485 --> 01:14:08,860 - ( sobbing ) - You is a nasty motherfucker! 1558 01:14:12,026 --> 01:14:14,860 ( screaming ) 1559 01:14:17,777 --> 01:14:19,652 ( groans ) 1560 01:14:23,902 --> 01:14:26,902 ( whimpering ) I can't smoke a finger. 1561 01:14:26,902 --> 01:14:29,568 ( coughs, gags ) 1562 01:14:29,568 --> 01:14:31,026 This shit's not working. 1563 01:14:34,026 --> 01:14:36,527 Hey, what up, bro's? 1564 01:14:36,527 --> 01:14:39,318 I didn't know that you guys were gonna be here! 1565 01:14:39,318 --> 01:14:41,151 I saved your plant. 1566 01:14:41,151 --> 01:14:44,568 What did you do to it? 1567 01:14:44,568 --> 01:14:46,360 This is a special plant. 1568 01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:48,151 I know. ( chuckles ) 1569 01:14:48,151 --> 01:14:51,110 - You stole our plant! - Damn right he stole your plant. 1570 01:14:51,110 --> 01:14:54,026 Yo, Silas, this idiot smoked up all the plant! 1571 01:14:54,026 --> 01:14:55,902 You're gonna have to study on your own. 1572 01:14:55,902 --> 01:14:57,652 Damn, they can't hear me or see me. 1573 01:14:57,652 --> 01:15:00,235 - Tell 'em! - S-S-Someone else was breaking in here. 1574 01:15:00,235 --> 01:15:03,402 So I caught them. Maybe you can give me a reward, right? 1575 01:15:03,402 --> 01:15:07,110 - Like more of the plant? - We ain't got no more goddamn plant! 1576 01:15:07,110 --> 01:15:09,360 Hoggin' all the good shit, huh? That's fine. 1577 01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:11,527 ( blows raspberry ) Let's go, Ivory! 1578 01:15:11,527 --> 01:15:13,944 - Wait, Ivory here? - Yeah, maybe. 1579 01:15:13,944 --> 01:15:15,902 - IVORY: Repeat after me. - Repeat after me. 1580 01:15:15,902 --> 01:15:17,276 - Yo, dog! - Yo, zog! 1581 01:15:17,276 --> 01:15:19,068 - Dog! - Zog! 1582 01:15:19,068 --> 01:15:20,694 - You idiot! - You idiot! 1583 01:15:20,694 --> 01:15:22,944 - Shit, I'm disappearing. - Shit, I'm disappearing. 1584 01:15:22,944 --> 01:15:24,110 - What? - What? 1585 01:15:24,110 --> 01:15:26,068 - What? - What? - What? 1586 01:15:28,527 --> 01:15:31,110 SILAS: This reminds me of my lab back at the crib. 1587 01:15:31,110 --> 01:15:33,860 I have some of this same stuff. 1588 01:15:33,860 --> 01:15:36,819 - How'd you get that? - I stole it. 1589 01:15:36,819 --> 01:15:39,193 Why don't you just place them on the wall there? 1590 01:15:39,193 --> 01:15:40,902 Well, well, well. 1591 01:15:40,902 --> 01:15:45,819 Never thought I'd find you two ghetto asses up in here studying. 1592 01:15:45,819 --> 01:15:47,568 Ghetto asses? 1593 01:15:47,568 --> 01:15:49,151 Oh, did I say that? 1594 01:15:49,151 --> 01:15:52,318 It must be the effects of the brownies you sent me. 1595 01:15:52,318 --> 01:15:54,276 They must still be in my system. 1596 01:15:55,360 --> 01:15:57,652 Lauren, how's the project coming? 1597 01:15:57,652 --> 01:16:00,110 Fine. As a matter of fact, 1598 01:16:00,110 --> 01:16:03,735 I'm going to check on that right now. You know, I got to go. 1599 01:16:03,735 --> 01:16:05,985 ( whispering ) No, no, no, no, no. 1600 01:16:05,985 --> 01:16:08,110 Yo, Dean, why you got to be a hater? 1601 01:16:08,110 --> 01:16:09,985 Oh, yes, I'm a hater. 1602 01:16:09,985 --> 01:16:12,652 I hate pot-smoking punks that think everything 1603 01:16:12,652 --> 01:16:14,527 should just be given to them. 1604 01:16:14,527 --> 01:16:17,485 You two are an absolute disgrace to this university. 1605 01:16:17,485 --> 01:16:20,652 Yo, Dean, man. What are those? 1606 01:16:20,652 --> 01:16:22,068 Oh, these? 1607 01:16:22,068 --> 01:16:24,318 These are invitations to the alumni celebration 1608 01:16:24,318 --> 01:16:26,777 in which the Vice President will be attending. 1609 01:16:26,777 --> 01:16:28,527 And Lauren will be unveiling 1610 01:16:28,527 --> 01:16:30,694 her Benjamin Franklin experiment. 1611 01:16:30,694 --> 01:16:33,151 - Ah. - Certain students will be invited. 1612 01:16:33,151 --> 01:16:35,026 Those that pass their finals. 1613 01:16:35,026 --> 01:16:37,568 - For real? - But you won't pass your finals. 1614 01:16:37,568 --> 01:16:40,235 You'll fail, and then I'll have you out of my hair 1615 01:16:40,235 --> 01:16:41,819 and out of Harvard. 1616 01:16:41,819 --> 01:16:44,110 ( chuckles ) Happy studying, gentlemen. 1617 01:16:45,151 --> 01:16:47,276 Fuck! 1618 01:16:47,276 --> 01:16:49,860 I'm trying to do my thing. It's pimpin' over here, baby. 1619 01:16:49,860 --> 01:16:52,110 Baby Powder, when you gonna pay us our money? 1620 01:16:52,110 --> 01:16:54,735 - I got a $25 money order-- - $25? 1621 01:16:54,735 --> 01:16:56,735 - Money order? - That you bitches can split. 1622 01:16:56,735 --> 01:16:58,610 BOTH: Who you calling a bitch, bitch? 1623 01:16:58,610 --> 01:17:00,360 - Come on with it. - I got ya. 1624 01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,944 Oh! If it ain't Ricepuff Daddy. 1625 01:17:02,944 --> 01:17:05,694 No, no, Powder, that's Run-MSG. 1626 01:17:05,694 --> 01:17:07,860 Hey, what you listening to, brother? 1627 01:17:07,860 --> 01:17:09,860 - Wu-Tang. - Wu-Tang. 1628 01:17:09,860 --> 01:17:12,235 ♪ Wu-Tang, I came to bring the pain... ♪ 1629 01:17:12,235 --> 01:17:14,402 ( both singing ) 1630 01:17:14,402 --> 01:17:16,276 I-- we don't listen to that Chinese shit! 1631 01:17:16,276 --> 01:17:18,402 - We do this little trip. - This what we do. 1632 01:17:18,402 --> 01:17:20,026 - You guys! - Show 'em, Powder! 1633 01:17:20,026 --> 01:17:21,944 - Powder, you a genius. - You need to sit down. 1634 01:17:21,944 --> 01:17:25,026 I'm gonna round them almond eyes of yours out! 1635 01:17:25,026 --> 01:17:27,235 - You understand me pimpin'? - Hold on, Powder. 1636 01:17:27,235 --> 01:17:30,819 Let's not get ig'nant. Maybe he just came here to pay our money. 1637 01:17:30,819 --> 01:17:34,110 - No, I come for your girls. ( snaps bras ) - Wooo! 1638 01:17:34,110 --> 01:17:37,443 You're gonna come back and give me them two duck sauces your mama-- 1639 01:17:37,443 --> 01:17:40,777 - You can't hold me back! - Go Tuan! 1640 01:17:40,777 --> 01:17:42,694 Let me get my stinkin' blade out. 1641 01:17:42,694 --> 01:17:44,276 Let me get my blade out. I'm gonna-- 1642 01:17:44,276 --> 01:17:45,318 ( karate yell ) 1643 01:17:45,318 --> 01:17:47,151 - Ooh, shit! - Come on, bee-atch. 1644 01:17:47,151 --> 01:17:50,026 Man, it was two egg rolls. It wasn't the duck sauce. 1645 01:17:51,819 --> 01:17:54,068 - ( car alarm ringing ) - Oooh! Ow! 1646 01:17:55,902 --> 01:17:57,860 Who the bitch now, bitch? 1647 01:17:57,860 --> 01:17:59,360 Bee-atch! 1648 01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:02,568 I need to slap my goddamn self for that. 1649 01:18:02,568 --> 01:18:06,485 Pimps go through this kind of shit from time to time. 1650 01:18:06,485 --> 01:18:08,527 ( chuckling ) 1651 01:18:09,819 --> 01:18:12,235 ( phone rings ) 1652 01:18:12,235 --> 01:18:13,902 Yes, Dean Cain here. 1653 01:18:13,902 --> 01:18:16,902 Yes, I did receive them. As a matter of fact, 1654 01:18:16,902 --> 01:18:20,568 I was just going over Silas and Jamal's grades, 1655 01:18:20,568 --> 01:18:22,485 and I see they're all F's. 1656 01:18:22,485 --> 01:18:24,860 Yes, I agree. 1657 01:18:24,860 --> 01:18:27,944 Very sad. Very sad, indeed. 1658 01:18:27,944 --> 01:18:29,360 Yes. Well, 1659 01:18:29,360 --> 01:18:32,110 I'll speak to you later. Bye bye. 1660 01:18:33,777 --> 01:18:36,610 Yes! Yes! Yes! 1661 01:18:38,402 --> 01:18:41,443 TUAN: Hey! 1662 01:18:42,443 --> 01:18:45,735 Dean Cain expects us off campus by Monday. 1663 01:18:45,735 --> 01:18:48,193 It went that bad in botany class? 1664 01:18:48,193 --> 01:18:50,902 Kid lost about 15 pounds of fluid. 1665 01:18:50,902 --> 01:18:52,443 And that was just from the mouth. 1666 01:18:52,443 --> 01:18:55,735 And I'm still below a 2.0. 1667 01:18:55,735 --> 01:18:57,944 We gonna get kicked the fuck out this school. 1668 01:18:59,110 --> 01:19:00,985 Maybe I can go back to being your manager, 1669 01:19:00,985 --> 01:19:03,777 and you strip at that club again like you used to. 1670 01:19:03,777 --> 01:19:05,151 ( chuckles ) 1671 01:19:05,151 --> 01:19:08,318 No, you can't give up! You can't let the dean win. 1672 01:19:08,318 --> 01:19:11,819 Did Commander Riker give up when the Borg infiltrated the Starship Enterprise 1673 01:19:11,819 --> 01:19:14,652 and Captain Picard came back all half-robot? 1674 01:19:14,652 --> 01:19:17,485 The Borgs? They're here! 1675 01:19:17,485 --> 01:19:19,568 Oh, God! Run for your lives! 1676 01:19:19,568 --> 01:19:21,402 ( Gerald screams, falls ) 1677 01:19:21,402 --> 01:19:25,068 - The point is-- - My point is shut the fuck up. 1678 01:19:25,068 --> 01:19:27,443 It's over. 1679 01:19:27,443 --> 01:19:30,610 And we outta here. Washing my hands. 1680 01:19:32,193 --> 01:19:34,193 Silas, man, you can't give up. 1681 01:19:34,193 --> 01:19:36,819 If you get this botany grade changed, they have to keep you. 1682 01:19:38,318 --> 01:19:40,652 Yeah. My-- my truth serum. 1683 01:19:40,652 --> 01:19:42,360 - Yeah. - I got to fix it. 1684 01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:44,360 - That's right. - Yo! 1685 01:19:51,193 --> 01:19:52,985 Here's your coffee. 1686 01:19:55,151 --> 01:19:57,026 SILAS: Nausea. 1687 01:19:58,402 --> 01:20:00,485 ( chuckles ) 1688 01:20:08,902 --> 01:20:10,568 Ah, Bart, nice to see you. 1689 01:20:10,568 --> 01:20:13,402 Listen, I think I have a solution 1690 01:20:13,402 --> 01:20:15,026 to your little problem. 1691 01:20:15,026 --> 01:20:17,652 Oh, no. I already got the prescription filled. 1692 01:20:17,652 --> 01:20:19,819 Zing! ( chuckles softly ) 1693 01:20:19,819 --> 01:20:21,527 Not that problem. 1694 01:20:21,527 --> 01:20:23,026 I'm talking about the boys. 1695 01:20:23,026 --> 01:20:26,276 Those rejects have been rejected. 1696 01:20:26,276 --> 01:20:30,026 Yo, Dean Cain! Look who's back. 1697 01:20:30,026 --> 01:20:32,860 Holler. 1698 01:20:32,860 --> 01:20:34,944 PHIL: Dean, what a surprise. Look who's here. 1699 01:20:34,944 --> 01:20:36,985 - How exciting. - Guys we weren't expecting you, 1700 01:20:36,985 --> 01:20:38,694 but you're right on time. 1701 01:20:38,694 --> 01:20:41,902 Let's go meet the next likely leader of the free world. 1702 01:20:44,527 --> 01:20:46,151 What are you two doing here? 1703 01:20:46,151 --> 01:20:48,402 Couldn't have my future ex-wife 1704 01:20:48,402 --> 01:20:50,193 show up to some bigwig event 1705 01:20:50,193 --> 01:20:52,568 without her daddy on her arms. 1706 01:20:52,568 --> 01:20:55,402 - Ain't that right, baby? - Right, Daddy. 1707 01:20:56,443 --> 01:20:58,985 Old friends, fellow alums, 1708 01:20:58,985 --> 01:21:01,568 it's wonderful being back here at Harvard. 1709 01:21:01,568 --> 01:21:03,985 And I get to see my beautiful daughter. 1710 01:21:03,985 --> 01:21:05,777 - Hi, honey. - Hi, Daddy. 1711 01:21:05,777 --> 01:21:07,902 Daddy? This is Jamal. 1712 01:21:07,902 --> 01:21:10,985 - Jamal, this is my dad. - Ah-ha. Hello, Jamal. 1713 01:21:10,985 --> 01:21:13,276 Mr. President. And I call you Mr. President 1714 01:21:13,276 --> 01:21:15,860 'cause I know you gonna rock this election. 1715 01:21:15,860 --> 01:21:18,110 I hope you're right, son. Uh-oh. Camera. 1716 01:21:25,735 --> 01:21:27,777 All right, Ivory, this is the last of you. 1717 01:21:27,777 --> 01:21:29,485 Do your stuff. 1718 01:21:29,485 --> 01:21:32,276 - Ah! - Oh, hey, Professor. 1719 01:21:32,276 --> 01:21:34,443 - What's going on? - Nice to see you again. 1720 01:21:34,443 --> 01:21:37,402 Listen, tonight I got a feeling you're gonna see my experiment work. 1721 01:21:37,402 --> 01:21:40,068 I hope we don't have to pass out any barf bags. 1722 01:21:40,068 --> 01:21:41,777 Don't even worry about that. 1723 01:21:41,777 --> 01:21:43,819 See, I found my secret ingredient. 1724 01:21:43,819 --> 01:21:46,610 By adding a little bit of chro-- cannibis, 1725 01:21:46,610 --> 01:21:48,694 I was able to counteract the nausea. 1726 01:21:48,694 --> 01:21:50,694 I'm proud of you. 1727 01:21:50,694 --> 01:21:52,485 Thank you, Professor. Thank you, man. 1728 01:21:57,694 --> 01:22:00,694 - I actually feel wonderful. - Isn't he great, Daddy? 1729 01:22:00,694 --> 01:22:03,652 BOTH: Yeah. He's great. 1730 01:22:05,777 --> 01:22:08,110 ( laughing ) 1731 01:22:09,985 --> 01:22:12,151 Ow! 1732 01:22:12,151 --> 01:22:13,652 Secret Service! 1733 01:22:13,652 --> 01:22:16,652 Hey, Jamie, here's your dad after a frat party! 1734 01:22:18,110 --> 01:22:20,694 We don't want the dean to get his panties in a bunch! 1735 01:22:20,694 --> 01:22:22,985 - Carl, it's all right. - He might want a spanking! 1736 01:22:22,985 --> 01:22:25,110 Sit down. 1737 01:22:29,110 --> 01:22:30,360 JAMAL: Wait a minute. 1738 01:22:30,360 --> 01:22:32,276 I know y'all ain't playing grab-ass 1739 01:22:32,276 --> 01:22:35,276 while I'm entertaining my future vanilla villa father are ya? 1740 01:22:35,276 --> 01:22:37,860 - Yeah! Oh, yeah! - Mm-hm. Yeah? 1741 01:22:37,860 --> 01:22:40,860 Man, look. The serum working. They high, dog! Look! 1742 01:22:40,860 --> 01:22:42,819 Hey, man, look. I got something to tell you. 1743 01:22:42,819 --> 01:22:45,151 Man, I've been pinching your weed off. 1744 01:22:45,151 --> 01:22:48,527 - What you telling me for? - Damn! I don't know. 1745 01:22:48,527 --> 01:22:51,318 I guess it's that new serum, man. I'm sorry, man. 1746 01:22:51,318 --> 01:22:54,193 - That's okay. Don't worry about it. - It ain't all right. 1747 01:22:54,193 --> 01:22:57,402 I been taking your CDs, I been using your weed pipes, 1748 01:22:57,402 --> 01:23:00,819 - I even been looking at Lauren's ass. - Whoa! 1749 01:23:00,819 --> 01:23:03,694 She's fine! And if she gave me the chance, 1750 01:23:03,694 --> 01:23:06,235 I would wax that ass till she showed me what she wa-- 1751 01:23:06,235 --> 01:23:07,819 Whoa, whoa, bro. 1752 01:23:07,819 --> 01:23:11,110 Jamal, I will take that as a compliment. 1753 01:23:11,110 --> 01:23:13,068 ( mutters ) 1754 01:23:14,068 --> 01:23:15,443 Thank you. 1755 01:23:15,443 --> 01:23:17,902 We all know that Harvard has been honored to host 1756 01:23:17,902 --> 01:23:20,193 some of Benjamin Franklin's artifacts, 1757 01:23:20,193 --> 01:23:22,485 which I personally found. 1758 01:23:22,485 --> 01:23:24,193 Like this cannon-like article back here. 1759 01:23:24,193 --> 01:23:25,777 Now later, you can take note 1760 01:23:25,777 --> 01:23:28,402 of the foot-operated carburetor, 1761 01:23:28,402 --> 01:23:32,318 the reservoir, and the top-loading bud bowl. 1762 01:23:32,318 --> 01:23:33,610 Ladies and gentlemen, 1763 01:23:33,610 --> 01:23:36,151 Harvard is now the proud owner 1764 01:23:36,151 --> 01:23:39,443 of America's first...bong. 1765 01:23:39,443 --> 01:23:41,527 ( gasping ) 1766 01:23:41,527 --> 01:23:43,860 DEAN CAIN: A bong?! 1767 01:23:45,151 --> 01:23:46,902 This is outrageous! 1768 01:23:46,902 --> 01:23:48,944 If Benjamin Franklin were here today, 1769 01:23:48,944 --> 01:23:51,318 he would deny and denounce 1770 01:23:51,318 --> 01:23:53,902 any claim to these so-called findings! 1771 01:23:53,902 --> 01:23:57,402 I'm gonna have to disagree on that. 1772 01:23:57,402 --> 01:23:59,694 Yo, Ben, tell this fool. Is that a bong or what? 1773 01:23:59,694 --> 01:24:01,735 Yup, it's the liberty bong. 1774 01:24:01,735 --> 01:24:03,276 Light that shit. 1775 01:24:03,276 --> 01:24:07,276 BOTH: Smoke that shit. Pass that shit. 1776 01:24:07,276 --> 01:24:09,777 - You got to come to this party, Ben. - You got a party? 1777 01:24:10,902 --> 01:24:12,735 Hey, man. Hey. 1778 01:24:12,735 --> 01:24:14,443 - Come on, man, smoke. - Gerald! 1779 01:24:15,985 --> 01:24:18,568 Oh, yeah. 1780 01:24:18,568 --> 01:24:20,527 ( crowd laughing ) 1781 01:24:20,527 --> 01:24:22,819 - This is insane! - ( laughing ) 1782 01:24:22,819 --> 01:24:24,735 What are you all laughing at?! 1783 01:24:24,735 --> 01:24:26,819 Dean, I have had it with your uptight, 1784 01:24:26,819 --> 01:24:29,985 self-serving, over-opinionated ass! 1785 01:24:29,985 --> 01:24:32,777 - JAMAL: Get him! - In short, you are fired! 1786 01:24:32,777 --> 01:24:34,819 ( gasps ) 1787 01:24:34,819 --> 01:24:37,151 Oh, hit the bricks, dog! 1788 01:24:39,819 --> 01:24:42,318 ♪ Get down with my girlfriend ♪ 1789 01:24:43,318 --> 01:24:45,151 ♪ That ain't right ♪ 1790 01:24:46,610 --> 01:24:48,318 ALL: ♪ The big payback ♪ 1791 01:24:49,318 --> 01:24:50,985 ♪ Hollerin', cussin' ♪ 1792 01:24:52,985 --> 01:24:54,902 ♪ You wanna fight? ♪ 1793 01:24:54,902 --> 01:24:57,485 - Silas! - Jamal! 1794 01:24:57,485 --> 01:25:00,235 Yo, dog, man. Look like you did it, dog. 1795 01:25:00,235 --> 01:25:01,819 You got a new serum, man. 1796 01:25:01,819 --> 01:25:04,276 You gonna be an herbal scientist, my brother. 1797 01:25:04,276 --> 01:25:07,151 - Me and you turned this place upside down, didn't we? - Did we! 1798 01:25:07,151 --> 01:25:09,485 Amazing what two brothers from the PJ's 1799 01:25:09,485 --> 01:25:11,694 could do with just a little bit of opportunity. 1800 01:25:11,694 --> 01:25:13,735 Word. 1801 01:25:13,735 --> 01:25:16,443 - Holler at ya, dog. - I will. 1802 01:25:16,443 --> 01:25:18,527 - Whoo! - ( woman screaming ) 1803 01:25:18,527 --> 01:25:21,026 - ( yelling ) - Oh, Secret Service! 1804 01:25:24,235 --> 01:25:27,402 Wh-wh-whoa! Dean, Dean, ease up on the black-on-black crime. 1805 01:25:27,402 --> 01:25:29,568 ( yelling ) 1806 01:25:29,568 --> 01:25:33,026 Oh! This motherfucker done messed up my shit! 1807 01:25:33,026 --> 01:25:35,360 Back up, nigga! You better give me three feet! 1808 01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:36,985 Give me three feet! 1809 01:25:37,819 --> 01:25:39,527 Whoa! 1810 01:25:40,485 --> 01:25:42,026 ( groans ) 1811 01:25:43,151 --> 01:25:45,026 Hey, get up. 1812 01:25:46,860 --> 01:25:48,402 Oh, cool. 1813 01:25:48,402 --> 01:25:51,068 - Take him away, boys. - Take your hands off of me! 1814 01:25:51,068 --> 01:25:53,694 Do you realize who I am? What are you looking at?! 1815 01:25:53,694 --> 01:25:55,527 I need money! You talked! 1816 01:25:55,527 --> 01:25:57,443 Why yes, Jamal. 1817 01:25:57,443 --> 01:25:59,276 It is somewhat of a surprise to me, also. 1818 01:25:59,276 --> 01:26:02,151 Lord, it's a gift! It's a gift from above! 1819 01:26:02,151 --> 01:26:03,985 Make you float like a dove! 1820 01:26:03,985 --> 01:26:06,902 Make you scream like Michael in a rhinestone glove! 1821 01:26:06,902 --> 01:26:08,235 Lord, Lord, Lord. 1822 01:26:10,110 --> 01:26:12,402 BOTH: Popcorn player. 1823 01:26:14,902 --> 01:26:16,819 ( coughs ) 1824 01:26:16,819 --> 01:26:19,151 I didn't inhale! Whoo-hoo! 1825 01:26:19,151 --> 01:26:21,694 God, this is the wildest time I've ever had. 1826 01:26:21,694 --> 01:26:23,068 ( laughing ) 1827 01:26:23,068 --> 01:26:24,735 Then you won't mind that I'm 1828 01:26:24,735 --> 01:26:26,235 banging your daughter on the regular? 1829 01:26:26,235 --> 01:26:27,652 No, no, not at all! 1830 01:26:27,652 --> 01:26:29,944 Good, 'cause Jamal's gonna be my baby daddy. 1831 01:26:29,944 --> 01:26:31,652 VICE PRESIDENT: Ah. 1832 01:26:31,652 --> 01:26:34,568 - Son, welcome to the family. - Daddy. 1833 01:26:36,860 --> 01:26:40,151 Silas, your experiment was a success. 1834 01:26:40,151 --> 01:26:42,276 Your serum worked, 1835 01:26:42,276 --> 01:26:44,777 and you're going to get an "A" in my course. 1836 01:26:44,777 --> 01:26:47,360 - Ohh...Professor! - So that means I get to stay? 1837 01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:50,610 You betcha! You can stay as long as it takes you to graduate. 1838 01:26:50,610 --> 01:26:52,735 I don't care. Right, ladies? 1839 01:26:52,735 --> 01:26:55,610 - BOTH WOMEN: Mm-hm. - Shall we, ladies? 1840 01:26:55,610 --> 01:26:58,235 BART: Hey, down here! This is not happening! 1841 01:26:58,235 --> 01:27:01,568 Lauren, you are coming with me! 1842 01:27:01,568 --> 01:27:04,777 Honey, you have never satisfied me. 1843 01:27:04,777 --> 01:27:05,944 Huh? 1844 01:27:06,819 --> 01:27:09,026 Silas? 1845 01:27:09,026 --> 01:27:10,777 But I can. 1846 01:27:20,318 --> 01:27:22,610 Now the day you lay off is the day you pay off. 1847 01:27:22,610 --> 01:27:24,360 We come in here to get our old bitches, 1848 01:27:24,360 --> 01:27:25,819 but if they ain't in here, 1849 01:27:25,819 --> 01:27:27,443 we gonna get them intellect bitches 1850 01:27:27,443 --> 01:27:29,527 and start our own new stable. You feel me? 1851 01:27:29,527 --> 01:27:32,193 Just keep it pimp-alicious, though, baby. 1852 01:27:32,193 --> 01:27:34,026 Powder, what are you doing here? 1853 01:27:34,026 --> 01:27:35,902 What are you doing in here, Phil?! 1854 01:27:35,902 --> 01:27:38,443 I've been rolling this joint for 20 years. 1855 01:27:38,443 --> 01:27:40,151 But if these people knew I was using 1856 01:27:40,151 --> 01:27:43,360 your Dial-A-Ho service, they might not understand. 1857 01:27:43,360 --> 01:27:46,944 You are one of my biggest customers. You like them hand jobs. 1858 01:27:46,944 --> 01:27:48,902 Fat bitches pissing on you all the time! 1859 01:27:48,902 --> 01:27:51,151 - I like the ladies. - Lickin' poodle feets. 1860 01:27:51,151 --> 01:27:54,568 Let's stop it right there. Have you ever been to college? 1861 01:27:54,568 --> 01:27:56,402 Yeah, two years. Pussyology. 1862 01:27:56,402 --> 01:27:59,402 Academia. I like it. Give me a call next week. 1863 01:27:59,402 --> 01:28:02,527 I think we can work something out. 1864 01:28:02,527 --> 01:28:05,527 Today's class is called Pimpology I and II. 1865 01:28:05,527 --> 01:28:07,527 I'm one, that's two. 1866 01:28:07,527 --> 01:28:08,694 That's what your ass will be 1867 01:28:08,694 --> 01:28:11,360 if you don't pass this class. 1868 01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:13,193 It got to come out right! 1869 01:28:13,193 --> 01:28:15,860 If it don't come out right you ain't gonna get to pimp tonight! 1870 01:28:15,860 --> 01:28:18,151 - Where my bitches? - Where my bitches? 1871 01:28:18,151 --> 01:28:20,694 Come on with it, 1872 01:28:20,694 --> 01:28:22,360 and let it fly! 1873 01:28:24,151 --> 01:28:27,527 Not yourselves! Shit! 1874 01:28:27,527 --> 01:28:30,026 That was deep. That was deep. 1875 01:28:31,110 --> 01:28:34,193 And B-cam roll. B marker. 1876 01:28:34,193 --> 01:28:36,860 Cut! 1877 01:28:36,860 --> 01:28:40,360 And another thing. I forgot my motherfuckin' line! 1878 01:28:40,360 --> 01:28:44,318 Yo, stop doing that shit. You can't be laughing at me. 1879 01:28:44,318 --> 01:28:46,276 Fuck my close-up up, nigger. 1880 01:28:46,276 --> 01:28:49,944 They know we stole ( laughs ) the statue. 1881 01:28:49,944 --> 01:28:54,151 I knew it! ( laughing ) You guys and your lies! 1882 01:28:54,151 --> 01:28:57,402 - SILAS: Can I get some pussy? - Sure. Come on in. 1883 01:28:57,402 --> 01:28:59,777 I told you we shoulda went to UCLA. 1884 01:28:59,777 --> 01:29:03,402 I'm about to go stick my dick in a thermos or something. 1885 01:29:03,402 --> 01:29:04,777 ( laughs ) 1886 01:29:04,777 --> 01:29:07,068 Puffs for purgatory. For everybody. Line 'em up. 1887 01:29:07,068 --> 01:29:09,360 - Puffs for purgatory, baby. - Puffs for purgatory. 1888 01:29:09,360 --> 01:29:11,026 Puffs for purgatory! 1889 01:29:11,026 --> 01:29:13,902 --see each other no more. I mean, the fuckin' around, 1890 01:29:13,902 --> 01:29:16,193 the s-- Ah, shit! ( laughs ) 1891 01:29:16,193 --> 01:29:18,527 ( sneezes ) 1892 01:29:28,777 --> 01:29:30,694 I pledge allegiance to the pimp, 1893 01:29:30,694 --> 01:29:33,944 the United Pimps of America. 1894 01:29:33,944 --> 01:29:36,777 SILAS: Come on, you fuckers! Call action! 1895 01:29:36,777 --> 01:29:40,443 - Uh-oh. - I don't give a fuck if it breaks. 1896 01:29:40,443 --> 01:29:43,151 You hear me? God damn it! 1897 01:29:43,151 --> 01:29:45,527 Turn that goddamn water off! 1898 01:29:45,527 --> 01:29:49,151 Cut, cut, cut. 1899 01:29:49,151 --> 01:29:50,443 - Cut. - Cut. 1900 01:29:50,443 --> 01:29:51,777 - Cut! - Cut. 1901 01:29:51,777 --> 01:29:53,402 Cu-ut! 1902 01:29:53,402 --> 01:29:55,985 - The movie's over. - Why are you guys still in your seat? 1903 01:29:55,985 --> 01:29:59,443 - Go home! - Why don't y'all want to leave? 1904 01:29:59,443 --> 01:30:01,652 ♪ I-- I get so high... ♪ 1905 01:30:01,652 --> 01:30:04,527 Yo ladies and gentlemen, 1906 01:30:04,527 --> 01:30:07,276 we got Toni Braxton up in the house. 1907 01:30:07,276 --> 01:30:09,568 ♪ So high that I can kiss the sky, bitch ♪ 1908 01:30:09,568 --> 01:30:11,985 - ♪ I get so high... ♪ - We live up in here, y'all. 1909 01:30:11,985 --> 01:30:14,318 ♪ How high, motherfuckers, how high? ♪ 1910 01:30:14,318 --> 01:30:16,026 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1911 01:30:16,026 --> 01:30:17,151 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1912 01:30:17,151 --> 01:30:18,860 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1913 01:30:18,860 --> 01:30:21,443 ♪ Yo, Tical shittin' again spit in the wind ♪ 1914 01:30:21,443 --> 01:30:23,318 ♪ Load they guns clip in the end ♪ 1915 01:30:23,318 --> 01:30:25,235 ♪ None sicker than him, yes indeed ♪ 1916 01:30:25,235 --> 01:30:27,110 ♪ I'm ill as any STDs or sex disease ♪ 1917 01:30:27,110 --> 01:30:29,443 ♪ These dirty rats want extra cheese ♪ 1918 01:30:29,443 --> 01:30:31,860 ♪ On that piece of the pie now ask me how high ♪ 1919 01:30:31,860 --> 01:30:34,235 ♪ Until ya reach for the sky blame the crooked letter "I" ♪ 1920 01:30:34,235 --> 01:30:36,443 ♪ That's my home, 23s wrapped in chrome ♪ 1921 01:30:36,443 --> 01:30:38,193 ♪ Not only snap on y'all niggers ♪ 1922 01:30:38,193 --> 01:30:40,151 ♪ But I'll snap them bones slap your dome ♪ 1923 01:30:40,151 --> 01:30:42,110 ♪ Make you leave that crack alone ♪ 1924 01:30:42,110 --> 01:30:44,110 ♪ You got the key to the city but the latch is on ♪ 1925 01:30:44,110 --> 01:30:46,568 ♪ I gots it locked bringing the noise, bringing the funk ♪ 1926 01:30:46,568 --> 01:30:49,276 ♪ Doctor Spock bringing my boys bringing you lungs ♪ 1927 01:30:49,276 --> 01:30:51,610 ♪ Pop the Glock, but only if you feel this shit ♪ 1928 01:30:51,610 --> 01:30:54,276 ♪ Jack the Ripper, don't make me have to kill this bitch ♪ 1929 01:30:54,276 --> 01:30:57,026 ♪ Back to get-cha, put it in check, that's the mista ♪ 1930 01:30:57,026 --> 01:30:59,568 ♪ Meth with his wood on your neck shut your lips up ♪ 1931 01:30:59,568 --> 01:31:01,944 ♪ I-- I get so high ♪ 1932 01:31:01,944 --> 01:31:04,527 ♪ Smoke cheeba cheeba smoke cheeba cheeba ♪ 1933 01:31:04,527 --> 01:31:07,568 ♪ I can touch the sky ♪ 1934 01:31:07,568 --> 01:31:09,360 ♪ So high that I could kiss the sky ♪ 1935 01:31:09,360 --> 01:31:11,944 ♪ I-- I get so high ♪ 1936 01:31:11,944 --> 01:31:14,402 ♪ Brick city to the crooked letter "I" ♪ 1937 01:31:14,402 --> 01:31:16,193 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1938 01:31:16,193 --> 01:31:17,402 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1939 01:31:17,402 --> 01:31:18,819 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1940 01:31:18,819 --> 01:31:20,110 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Come on ♪ 1941 01:31:20,110 --> 01:31:22,276 ♪ You can call on the man when the party is borin' ♪ 1942 01:31:22,276 --> 01:31:24,402 ♪ I'll have these hos strippin' till it's part of the mornin' ♪ 1943 01:31:24,402 --> 01:31:26,735 ♪ I love a fat chick with a body enormous ♪ 1944 01:31:26,735 --> 01:31:29,235 ♪ It ain't about the weight it's how they performin' ♪ 1945 01:31:29,235 --> 01:31:31,735 ♪ My dash is 180, my weed half a pound ♪ 1946 01:31:31,735 --> 01:31:34,151 ♪ With the smoke in the air my nose like basset hounds ♪ 1947 01:31:34,151 --> 01:31:36,902 ♪ I don't stash the draw nigger divide ♪ 1948 01:31:36,902 --> 01:31:39,735 ♪ I'm that nigger that ride with the trigger to get a supply ♪ 1949 01:31:39,735 --> 01:31:42,235 ♪ High is how I stay all the time ♪ 1950 01:31:42,235 --> 01:31:44,151 ♪ Niggers, close your doors, bitches, shut all your blinds ♪ 1951 01:31:44,151 --> 01:31:46,694 ♪ If I'm hard to find take two puffs and pass ♪ 1952 01:31:46,694 --> 01:31:49,318 ♪ I'd stay back but my Benz moved up a class ♪ 1953 01:31:49,318 --> 01:31:51,777 ♪ It's dock and meth the format is real sickenin' ♪ 1954 01:31:51,777 --> 01:31:54,360 ♪ Contagious, we out for Mr. Bigg's women ♪ 1955 01:31:54,360 --> 01:31:56,944 ♪ You better shut your trap when my dog's around ♪ 1956 01:31:56,944 --> 01:31:59,944 ♪ We pissin' on fire hydrants so walk around, bitch! ♪ 1957 01:31:59,944 --> 01:32:02,235 ♪ I-- I get so high ♪ 1958 01:32:02,235 --> 01:32:04,276 ♪ Smoke cheeba cheeba smoke cheeba cheeba ♪ 1959 01:32:04,276 --> 01:32:07,068 ♪ I can touch the sky ♪ 1960 01:32:07,068 --> 01:32:09,193 ♪ Yeah, so high till I reach the sky ♪ 1961 01:32:09,193 --> 01:32:11,902 ♪ I-- I get so high ♪ 1962 01:32:11,902 --> 01:32:14,318 ♪ Brick city and the crooked letter "I" ♪ 1963 01:32:14,318 --> 01:32:15,819 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1964 01:32:15,819 --> 01:32:17,276 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1965 01:32:17,276 --> 01:32:19,610 - ♪ High ♪ - ♪ Let's get ♪ 1966 01:32:19,610 --> 01:32:21,902 ♪ Mr. Method Man putting in work, foot in the dirt ♪ 1967 01:32:21,902 --> 01:32:23,735 ♪ Like it's all good roll through your hood ♪ 1968 01:32:23,735 --> 01:32:25,443 ♪ Pushing a hearse I wish y'all would ♪ 1969 01:32:25,443 --> 01:32:27,694 ♪ Come around like Clint Eastwood ♪ 1970 01:32:27,694 --> 01:32:29,360 ♪ As if you're reppin' your hood in my necks of the woods ♪ 1971 01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:31,777 ♪ Street guerillas in the PJ's ♪ 1972 01:32:31,777 --> 01:32:33,610 ♪ Grimy bitch, I wear the same shit for three days ♪ 1973 01:32:33,610 --> 01:32:36,235 ♪ Find me lit blunt sparks like Felipe ♪ 1974 01:32:36,235 --> 01:32:39,568 ♪ Fuck the he-say, the she-say, adjust the mic-phone plus the DJ ♪ 1975 01:32:39,568 --> 01:32:41,276 ♪ Call me the bob backlin ♪ 1976 01:32:41,276 --> 01:32:43,235 ♪ I break backs on hos that look like Toni Braxton ♪ 1977 01:32:43,235 --> 01:32:45,110 ♪ Come run with these bony masked men ♪ 1978 01:32:45,110 --> 01:32:46,944 ♪ I'm out the gutter I'm out to send 1979 01:32:46,944 --> 01:32:49,110 ♪ Your mother out for rubbers we fuckin' tonight ♪ 1980 01:32:49,110 --> 01:32:51,735 ♪ Bitches want to crowd around I'm cuppin' the mic ♪ 1981 01:32:51,735 --> 01:32:54,193 ♪ I'm a gorilla, leave a banana stuck in your pipe ♪ 1982 01:32:54,193 --> 01:32:56,694 ♪ 'Cause I'm a real block winner with doc in a ♪ 1983 01:32:56,694 --> 01:32:59,652 ♪ Bitch, one of my balls bigger than the Epcot Center ♪ 1984 01:32:59,652 --> 01:33:02,110 ♪ I-- I get so high ♪ 1985 01:33:04,318 --> 01:33:07,485 ♪ I can touch the sky ♪ 1986 01:33:09,110 --> 01:33:12,485 ♪ I-- I get so high ♪ 1987 01:33:14,193 --> 01:33:17,819 ♪ I, I, I. ♪